menhulu | swallowed the moon;

swallowed the moon;

[ it's not uncommon for dan heng to slip into his brother's bed. it happens often enough, especially considering they share a small, cramped little room - their parents don't exactly provide well for them, only for themselves. it wasn't uncommon for the boys to be left hungry and neglected in their youth, and so they learned to take care of one another instead, learned how to cook before they were even in double digits, learned how to do laundry and how to sew to mend their worn garments, learned how to clean, and most of all, how to remain silent and unobtrusive so as not to draw their parents' ire.

it's not a joyous lifestyle, but.. they have one another. and that is all that dan heng needs.

thunder rolls on the horizon tonight, and dan heng wakes in a cold sweat, the memory of a scream on his lips. he shivers as a flash of lightning illuminates the room for a moment, before he's sliding out of his own bed, bare feet against the cool floor as he stands.

crossing the distance to dan feng's bed takes only a few paces, and dan heng slips in beside his brother without worry and without preamble, knowing that this is always allowed, always welcome. though they both do not enjoy touch when it comes to anyone else, with each other they can be close like this, they can be comfortable together, and lean on one another for anything and everything. ]

Feng-xiong..

[ he whispers softly, pressing against his brother's side and curling close, his face buried against dan feng's neck as he tries to calm his racing pulse, his white-knuckled fingers trembling. ]

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[For the most part, Dan Feng was not a particularly light sleeper... but if there was one thing that could wake him without fail, it was his brother. Something he'd long reassured Dan Heng he was glad for -- because it meant that when he was needed, he could be there for him. His twin was everything to him... for Dan Heng, he would do anything.

So when his brother crawls into his bed and presses against his side, Dan Feng is drawn almost immediately away from unpleasant dreams. He's turned to wrap his arm around Dan Heng before he's even truly aware, and it isn't until he's buried his nose in his brother's soft hair that his luminous green eyes blink open and the room around them -- briefly lit by another flash of lightning -- comes into focus.]

I'm here, A-Heng..

[His normally silky voice is faintly rough from having been asleep, but the warmth there is unmistakable. Dan Feng's hand at his twin's back slowly traces the line of his spine as he curls around him, taking in the way he can feel his fingers trembling.

Slowly, nuzzling just a bit more, he presses a gentle kiss to the top of his brother's head, not moving from that spot for now.]

Everything will be alright...

[Perhaps not with their parents... but as long as it was just the two of them, it would all be okay.]

[ dan feng is there immediately, rousing enough to offer him comfort, and dan heng is glad for it, even though the guilt for waking him chews at his heart. they both are always in dire need of good, restful sleep..

but he would do the same for his brother, he knows. both of them would give anything and everything for one another.

he is calmed by dan feng's gentle voice, his eyes slipping closed again as he nestles in closer, sighing softly against his brother's bare throat, breath gusting. the hand at dan feng's chest loosens slightly from the nightshirt he is wearing, laying flat against him, feeling the steady beat of his strong heart. dan feng is always so strong, in every way.. would that dan heng could feel the same. ]

I'm sorry.

[ he whispers softly, his own pulse still fluttering, one leg hooking over dan feng's thigh as his tail sweeps around to coil around him as well, keeping close. so close. ]

[A faint shiver finds its way down his spine when Dan Heng sighs against his throat, the feeling pleasant and welcome as Dan Feng's arm tightens carefully around his brother. No matter how tired he may be in the moment, having his twin in his arms was always one of the best feelings.]

Mm.. you have nothing to apologize for, you know that.

[His voice is still gentle when quiet words ruffle Dan Heng's soft hair, hand slowly rubbing up and down the length of his back, palm flat.]

I love you.. and am always glad when I can be here for you like this.

[Dan Feng's hand stills at the small of Dan Heng's back, tail shifted to coil around his twin as his legs move without thought. Being close was such a second nature feeling that he thinks nothing of it when their legs entangle -- when their bodies are pressed even closer, hips eased together as if they were meant to fit this way.]

.. I know.

[ and he does know. he knows that dan feng would do anything for him, and gladly, just as he would do the same for his brother. it's still difficult not to apologize for interrupting his precious sleep, however.

at the very least, it is a friday night, they have nothing to be up for in the morning, though if they sleep too late their parents will be angry with them. call them lazy. useless. they'll need to be careful. for now, though, he has dan feng's warmth against his own, and that's all that he could ever want or need.

their bodies fit together, and not for the first time dan heng feels a warmth inside of him that is not exactly proper. a desire for more. with a soft murmur in his throat, he clenches his thighs a little more tightly around dan feng's leg, his hips giving a gentle rock forward, the hand on dan feng's chest slipping slightly downward. he's too sleepy to really be cognizant of what he's doing, instead only following his body and what it wants. ]

I love you, too..

[Dan Feng absolutely understand just what it is that has Dan Heng apologizing every time, after all.. it wasn't as if he'd not done the same. As prone to nightmares as they both were, he'd been the one to crawl into his brother's bed just as much as the reverse had happened. He'd apologized every time, and would likely continue to do so... regardless of how much both of them knew it wasn't necessary.

Then Dan Heng's thighs tighten -- his hips rocking forward gently in a spark of friction that practically ignites a warmth inside of him that pools low in his body -- and Dan Feng can't stop the way his breath catches in his chest. The sensation certainly wasn't new to him either... but it was the first time that he'd allowed his tail to hold his twin more closely against him.

Dan Feng's hand at the small of his twin's back slips ever so slightly lower, resting against the curve at the top of his tail as he allows his own hips to rock forward -- to create another spark of incredible friction between them.

He shouldn't be doing this, he knows he shouldn't be doing this. This is his twin, and while they're close... surely this was much too far. Certainly they were both tired, and Dan Feng was allowing his body to chase the want he could feel building like fire... but he should stop...

... not that he can hold back the way his hips rock forward once more -- hold back the way his trembling breath sounds like Dan Heng's name on his lips.]

[ when dan feng's hips rock back against his own, dan heng whines under his breath, his heart racing, leaping up into his throat. a little bolt of pleasure spikes right into his belly, and the sound of his name riding dan feng's whisper makes his entire body tighten up in anticipation.

he's still drowsy, still sleepy enough to not be able to stop the soft moan that rolls past his lips, rippling against dan feng's throat. ]

Mmn.. Feng-ge..

[ he whispers softly, his hand seizing in the front of dan feng's sleep shirt, while his mouth lazily drags along his brother's jaw.

distantly, he knows well that he shouldn't be doing this, that his groggy state of mind shouldn't mean anything, he should still know better. but this feeling isn't anything new. this is not the first time that they have been dangerously close, not the first time that young hormones have driven his thoughts about his brother to places where they shouldn't be. he always holds himself back. but tonight he is pushing further than he ever has. ]

[No matter how many times they'd lay tangled together like this... Dan Feng had never allowed himself to give in like this -- never allowed himself to indulge in the pleasures that hormones practically begged him to chase. Dan Heng was his twin, and he knew that this was wrong.

It was wrong... but aeons... then why did he want this so badly?

The sound of his brother's soft moan is so easily enough to drive a spike of pleasure straight to his lap, a shiver running up his spine as he allows his head to tip back -- as he exposes his throat to the drag of Dan Heng's mouth.]

A-Heng, I--

[His breath catches in his chest, desire coloring the whispered words as he eases forward with the leg that Dan Heng had wrapped his thighs around. His fingertips press into his twin's back just above his tail, thumb ghosted up beneath the bottom of his night shirt to press into soft skin.

Dan Feng wants this... aeons how he does... Dan Heng needs to push him away. Surely as long as his twin rejected this... surely the want could be forced away as he'd done in the past.]

[ dan heng can feel it - can feel the energy moving between them, thrumming and sparking like lightning, a thick heat that suffocates him and draws him in all at once.

he needs this. he wants this. he loves his brother more than anyone in the world, dan feng is the only person he trusts, the only person who keeps him from feeling uncomfortable and ill at ease. the only person he wants to be around. wants to hold to. wants to kiss, and - ]

Please..

[ he whispers softly, plaintive against dan feng's skin as he rocks his hips again, a little more insistent this time, his thighs squeezing together in an attempt to contain his burgeoning erection. an attempt that fails.

when dan feng's thumb presses against his skin, at the base of his tail where he's so sensitive, dan heng squirms and gasps, his lips moving, dragging in lazy, needy kisses along his brother's jawline. ]

[Dan Heng begs for him with that one whispered word, and Dan Feng can't even imagine refusing. He's never been able to refuse his brother anything, no matter what it was that he wanted... and this was no different.

Dan Feng's breath shudders as his free hand shifts -- as soft fingertips find Dan Heng's chin and tip his brother's head back, as their lips first brush with the hot whisper he breathes in the space between them.]

.. I need you..

[Even whispered, the desire there is unmistakable -- is deeply needy in the moment before he presses forward, in the moment before he fits their mouths together as if they were made to kiss this way.

Dan Heng isn't the only one growing harder with each rock of their hips, and when Dan Feng feels his brother's erection there against his own, he presses his knee forward between his twin's thighs more insistently -- his hand slides down from where it was at his dear brother's back, sliding with care over the curve of his ass to press their bodies together even more firmly -- even more desperately.]

[ he's beginning to become well aware of what they're doing, of what's happening, his sleep-addled mind beginning to clear with each flash of lightning that illuminates the room, and yet.. he doesn't stop. he doesn't want to stop.

dan heng is well aware of his feelings toward his brother, and how wrong they are meant to be. their parents have always despised how close the two of them have become, how dependent they are on one another, but how could they not be? they have no other support in this world beyond each other, no other family to help them, no friends, nothing, only the company of one another. so it certainly stands to reason that they would depend upon one another, and that their love for each other would twist into something inappropriate. something forbidden.

he can't bring himself to care that it's wrong. the two of them have so very, very little for themselves.. why should they deny themselves this closeness, as well, when it will hurt no one to love one another? they shouldn't have to resist it, not when it feels so good.

so when he feels dan fengs lips brush his own, he gives into the thing that he has been suppressing for years - he presses back into the kiss, hard and hungry, parting his lips and breathing a soft whine against his brother's mouth as he arches forward, pressing their hips hard together, the hand against dan feng's chest sliding down his belly, and pushing boldly down the front of his sleeping pants. ]

[Dan Heng certainly isn't the only one becoming aware of just what they're doing... and continuing regardless of that. He'd never allowed himself to give in to what he's long wanted, had remained as content as possible with innocent touches -- or at least had told himself that he was content to remain that way.

... and really he was, but he could no longer deny that he'd so long desired more. Dan Heng was everything to him, the only person he ever wished to be close to... the only person he wanted to see smile. He'd so long stopped caring how much their parents hated their closeness, had only felt safe because those selfish, terrible people wouldn't sacrifice their own space in order to separate him from his twin.

What he did care about was what Dan Heng felt -- his brother's comfort and safety. No matter his own inappropriate feelings, as long as Dan Heng was happy... then that was what mattered most. But with his twin responding in kind -- with their hips rocking together, with hands wandering quietly in the safety of their room... was there any harm in seeking what they both wished for?

Dan Heng's lips part for him, and Dan Feng gives in immediately -- tips his head just enough to slot their mouths together perfectly... and slowly allows himself to lick into his brother's mouth. And aeons he's never tasted anything so intoxicating in his life. He breathes soft sounds into their kiss as his hand at his twin's ass shifts up once more to disappear beneath the loose fabric of his sleeping shirt.

... and then he feels his brother's hand slide down his body -- feels that soft hand push down the front of his pants and his breath stutters in his chest. He's already near fully hard from their touches so far, and there's something desperate and needy about the way he groans quietly into Dan Heng's mouth.]

[ there's no denying what they are doing now, no explaining it away due to sleepiness or confusion - no, not when they're kissing like this, not when he can feel dan feng's cock against his palm, hard and hot and so very ready for him.

they've never gone this far before. certainly they've flirted with the edge of what is appropriate - they're very close, and they touch often, sleep in the same bed often, pressed near to one another, holding one another like lovers. they've even kissed sometimes, but they were always sweet, chaste things, kisses that could be explained away as a little bit strange, but not blasphemously wrong.

but this? this is well over the line.

it's well over the line, and dan heng could not care less. the kiss feels like heaven, wet and hot and full of messy, desperate desire, and touching dan feng this way.. it's absolutely forbidden, but that only seems to add to the flavor.

swallowing up that wonderful groan that dan feng makes, dan heng licks deeply into his mouth, whining against his lips as he palms at his brother's cock, squeezing lightly before wrapping his fingers around it, pulling in shallow strokes. he likes the feel of it, the way dan feng's texture rubs against his palm, silky and smooth and hot. ]

Feng-ge..

[ he whispers against his brother's lips, nibbling his lower lip, kissing him again, and again, and again. ]

[There would be no turning back for them, not after this... but turning back is the last thing Dan Feng finds that he wants to do. It's been a few years already since he first realized he wanted Dan Heng in this way... and if he can keep him, then there's nothing more he could ever desire.

Dan Feng's entire body feels as if he's on fire, with the way his brother is touching him.. and he can't help it each time he shudders, each time he breathes a soft sound into their desperate kiss. He's never known such pleasure before in his life... and wants to gift the same to Dan Heng.

... and then he feels his twin's soft fingers wrap around his cock and his vision goes white for a moment -- the pleasure almost blinding with each stroke and he can't stop the way his nails press into the smooth skin of Dan Heng's back.]

A-Heng-- mmn..

[There's desperation in his voice when he murmurs his brother's name breathlessly, nails dragging down his back.. before his hand can slide around to his stomach along the waistband of his sleeping pants. Dan Feng presses forward into each kiss with clear need, while his palm presses flat to Dan Heng's stomach and presses down into the front of his pants.]

[ denying this for so long has taken its toll. now that they have begun, dan heng finds that he cannot stop, his heart is pounding and his stomach feels tight, and while he knows (distantly and logically) that they should not be doing this, he simply does not care. he needs this in a way he has never needed anything. dan feng's kiss comforts and arouses him so deeply that he's all but squirming against him, eager to feel more, to know more.

nails drag down his back, prompting a soft whine as dan heng arches, shivering, goosebumps rippling down his forearms as his vellus hairs stand on end. but then dan feng's hand is sliding into his soft sleeping shorts, and he gasps, tensing.

honestly, he could come right here, right then and there from this simple touch alone. virginal as he is, and desperate as he is to be touched, it's a very near thing, and he only just barely is able to hold back. but even still, he won't last much longer, doesn't want to last much longer. ]

Brother -

[ he whispers against dan feng's mouth, his hips snapping in a staccato rhythm, pushing his cock against dan feng's warm palm as he whimpers, his own fingers tightening, pumping along the full length of dan feng's cock. he's a little clumsy, but he makes up for it with enthusiasm, their kiss sloppy. ]

Please, please please.. please..

I'm here.

[For a moment it's all he can do to gasp that one response, fingers curling there around his brother's cock as his own hips give a desperate jerk of their own. Dan Heng isn't the only one barely able to hold back, as Dan Feng finds himself clinging desperately to the moment -- clinging desperately to the pleasure of his twin's touch, the pleasure of touching him in return.

The way he returns the kiss is clumsy in his desperation, but no less enthusiastic than Dan Heng's -- even if their teeth occasionally click. Something about their kiss is simply... perfect. A true first kiss they've both wanted to share for years now.]

I love you..

[When he murmurs those words this time... they both know precisely how he means, surely. There's no other way to take it, with how his hand slides around his twin's cock in long strokes, careful but firm even as his fingers tremble -- even as he can feel tension curling low in his stomach as his brother's touch draws him closer and closer to the edge. But he wants to hold on, wants to last just long enough to feel Dan Heng fall apart at his touch first.]

[ he won't last. he can't last. not when he's never been touched before, not when the person now touching him is the only person he's ever wanted, ever thought about touching him. i'm here, dan feng says, and dan heng whines, burrowing closer to him, his hips stuttering faster, clumsy and desperate. ]

I lo.. love..

[ he whispers, but he can't get the words out before he's coming quick and hard, muffling his sharp cry against dan feng's shoulder as his entire body arches and tenses, hot spend spilling over his brother's fingers and palm, making an obscene mess.

he can't manage words, can only writhe and whimper, his grasp around dan feng's cock tightening, stroking him faster and deeper, trying to urge him to finish as well, to feel this same blinding bliss that dan heng is experiencing. his entire body shudders with the sensation of it, tears pricking the corners of his eyes - it's so good, it's so good, dan heng is quite sure he has never felt such pleasure and it's only from his brother's hand. ]

[Holding on so desperately is so worth the discomfort in order to feel and hear Dan Heng fall apart this way. To be able to give his most important, most loved person so much pleasure... there truly is nothing like it. A part of him wishes they didn't have to be so quiet -- that they could fall apart in one another's arms and cry out without hiding... but he'll take this.

But Dan Feng can't hold out much longer before he bows his head -- before he bites Dan Heng's shoulder without thinking, hips bucking forward instinctively as he finally spills hot over his brother's hand. His own low groans and cries are muffled against skin as the last shred of his clarity ensures he doesn't bite too hard in his desperation.

Each breath he takes is ragged in the moments that follow along with the last ripples of his orgasm, tears clinging to his lashes as he slowly releases the grip of his teeth. He'd not meant -- the last thing he wanted was to potentially hurt Dan Heng. Still without thought, Dan Feng finds himself nosing the collar of his twin's shirt out of the way -- finds himself pressing kisses over the bite mark, each hot breath gasped against warm skin.]

Love you.. aeons.. I love you...

[ dan heng's mind feels fuzzy, it whirls and spins until he feels dizzy, the aftershocks of his orgasm almost as good as the orgasm itself had been. his hips twitch, and he whines against his brother's mouth, fighting to catch his breath.

they shouldn't have done this, if their parents knew they would be furious, but dan heng finds that he doesn' care. he doesn't care what anyone thinks, the world would not understand them and their love for one another, their love, their need. for all their lives they have only had one another to rely on, only one another to feel love and gentleness from, how could anyone blame them for leaning into it? for needing one another so deeply?

dan heng swallows, exhaling hard as he slips his hand free, wiping it clean on the thigh of his sleeping pants so he can wrap both arms around dan feng's shoulders, pulling in close. thunder continues to rumble, lightning flashing through their room, but they are safe in here together. ]

I love you so much..

[ he whispers softly against dan feng's lips, hooking one thigh over his brother's hip as he nestles in close, unwilling to leave any space between them. ]

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swallowed the moon;

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