well, it's strange, but it's also a great comfort. to say that he had missed his twin would be a grand understatement. being without him had been torture, like missing a part of his heart and soul, so even though they haven't entirely talked things through yet.. coming to their shared flat still feels like coming home.
it's a lovely space, with a wide open area and tall windows that let the light in. it's nicely furnished to both of their tastes, packed with bookcases and a writing desk, water gardens on the terrace, and several quiet nooks in which to meditate. it's only been a few days since they moved into this shared space together, there are still some growing pains, but they're both neat, tidy people who respect one another's space, so dan heng doesn't expect that there will be any issues. beyond, at least, the talk that they still need to have.
night has fallen, and dan heng can't sleep. the quiet is deafening, but any music or sounds he plays to help feel too loud, as well. he knows what he wants, knows where he wants to be, but he's hesitating. things have changed, haven't they? he can't just go crawling into dan feng's bed like he used to - yet the desire to do just that is strong. the night crawls on, dan heng tosses and turns until at last he throws back the blankets with a heavy sigh and slips out of bed.
dan heng's footfalls are soft, silent as he moves through the loft to dan feng's room, where he finds the door slightly ajar and, pushing it open, he slips into the dimness and moves toward his brother's bed, hesitating a moment before he climbs beneath the warm blankets. ]
[There had been a time after they'd gone their separate ways where Dan Feng hadn't been entirely certain if they'd be able to reconcile. He understood completely the reason everything fell apart as it had... but he couldn't say he wouldn't make the same choice again if he had to.
When they'd moved back in together, it was as if a part of himself long missing had finally been returned. He wasn't entirely certain if he would be able to endure the same isolation again. Having Dan Heng back... he was happy, more than he'd been in a long time. Even with the talk they still needed to have, this was something he'd not give up, not even for the entire Alliance.
Their first several days moving into this lovely flat together had been spent unpacking what they'd accumulated during their time apart. It had been nice to know that what they liked in a living space had remained the same even after all this time. Once things were settled... once they had places to retreat to should they need it... then perhaps they could have that talk.
For his part that night, it certainly hadn't been easy for Dan Feng to finally fall asleep. Their talk was much needed... and it was difficult for him to stop running through possible scenarios in his mind over and over again. As for whether the sleep is restful... not at all. Even outwardly there are signs of a troubled mind, for all he sleeps as quietly as ever.
His twin had always walked so quietly that it isn't until he feels the blanket move -- feels a body slipping in next to him -- before he's drawn from sleep. He breathes a tired hum before luminous eyes open partway. Enough to see the feeling hadn't been a dream. When he speaks, the tone of his voice is low and weary... but not displeased in any way.]
Mm, a-Heng..? Trouble sleeping...?
[For all it's been so long... this was how their life had been. This was the life he missed. He certainly wasn't about to push his twin away at all, but certainly not in a moment like this.]
[ he says softly, even a little stiffly, formally, as if the man beside him isn't his twin brother, but a stranger. but that isn't true. that isn't the case. dan feng is everything to him, dan heng simply does not know how to be close to him anymore.. but it starts with this, doesn't it? with taking the first step.
after a moment's hesitation, dan heng turns onto his side to face his brother, his eyes on dan feng's, and he feels.. guilty for waking him, he sounds so tired. perhaps he should come back another time, but - he's already disturbed him, it would be foolish to withdraw now that the damage is done. besides, knowing dan feng, he'll be chased back down to make sure he's all right. resting his head against his arm, dan heng plucks at the sheets with his free hand. ]
Mm.. I can't sleep. It's strange, being back with you again. [ a beat. ] Strange, but not bad.
[The formality of the response is easily enough to give him pause. With how tired he was, he'd simply fallen into what had been their normal before they'd parted ways on less than pleasant terms. Dan Heng was right in the end... they simply weren't close like they used to be. These thoughts are easily enough to rouse him a bit more from his slumber, a barely audible sigh passing his lips.]
There's really nothing to apologize for.
[For all he didn't want to, Dan Feng's own tone of voice has shifted. He was still weary, clearly still cared deeply considering the warmth of his words... but the impression that he'd stepped back a bit was still there as an undercurrent. The last thing he wanted was to push his twin away by speaking as if nothing had happened.
He shifts just a little himself when Dan Heng turns over, enough to make it a bit easier for them to speak... enough that they weren't as close as they used to lay. It is nice, in its own way... Dan Heng isn't leaving him now that he's awake as well. His breath leaves him in a soft hum, eyes drifting closed just briefly as he smooths some of his hair back from his face -- not enough to show the scar he still had from that day so long ago, but... enough otherwise.]
It is... different. [His eyes drift open again, a bit more aware than when he'd first awoken.] I never thought I'd be able to share a space with you again.
[Unable... but not because of himself. He was the one who caused the problem, even with plenty of blame on those terrible "parents"... so he wouldn't have been surprised if they'd simply remained distant.]
It's something of a relief to have been wrong.
[It was something he never felt otherwise. In their separation, he had become rather distant from those around him. He was talented and confident, skilled enough to be where he was. Skilled and bright enough to very rarely be wrong. If they'd crossed paths, even at a distance, he can't be certain his twin would recognize who he'd become.]
[ dan heng curls further onto his side, his legs drawn up a little. it's a protective sort of position, defensive, but not uncomfortable, it's simply instinctive. dan heng has never let anyone else in, besides his brother, his walls are incredibly high and considerably thick. he's been alone for.. a long time, now, and doesn't entirely remember how to be sociable on a personal level.
but he wants to remember. he wants that closeness again. he yearns for it. ]
I'm.. sorry. It's my fault that we were apart to begin with.
[ dan heng drops his gaze away, his hand against the sheets curling into a tight fist. he knows that it was because of him that they fell apart, because he pushed dan feng away when he shouldn't have, because he was too afraid and too shocked to know how to be near him without it hurting right down to his soul.
swallowing thickly, dan heng curls his long tail around himself, bowing his head. ]
[The apology he receives this time wraps around his heart like a vise, and Dan Feng hesitates. His twin wasn't the only one who'd been alone all this time -- alone in his personal life, if not professional... but that was where it really counted. Connecting to others wasn't easy... but he'd never shut Dan Heng away after everything. They never spoke, but he did his best to make sure nothing happened to his brother even so.
After a breath, he lifts one of his hands, placing it lightly over Dan Heng's where he holds tightly to the sheets. It wasn't where he wanted to stop -- he wanted to hold his twin and be a comfort as he used to be... but not yet. He can't yet...]
I never laid any of the blame on you.
[Dan Feng shifts slightly, propping himself a bit upright on his other elbow, tail curled idly at his ankles as he lets his thumb brush against Dan Heng's hand softly.]
If I must, at least half of the blame rests on my shoulders. I never considered that you would feel exactly as I had, when I could no longer stand to see anything happen to you.
[His eyes eventually lower to where his hand rests warmly over Dan Heng's. It was something he'd thought about a time or two since then. Even if he couldn't be certain he wouldn't stand between his twin and pain ever again, he could only imagine how it must've looked... Dan Heng finding him on the ground, most of his face covered in blood from a nasty split just below his hairline above his right eye.]
[ dan feng's hand closes over his own, soft and warm, and at first the contact makes dan heng tense up. he's not used to being touched, not anymore, not since they fell apart, but a brief moment passes and he immediately relaxes, breathing a soft, quiet sigh, and his hand uncurls from the sheets and turns over, weaving their fingers together. they would sleep this way so often when they were young, close together, hand in hand, unwilling to stop touching even to sleep.
dan heng chews his lower lip, his brow pinching uncertainly. his heart had ached, being apart from dan feng, yet it aches now, too, seeing him, and remembering. ]
I.. I just..
[ dan heng lowers his eyes, his expression tight with pain. he doesn't know how to properly explain, how to tell dan feng how horrible it was to see him like that, how absolutely terrified he had been. the fear of losing him had been so overpowering that he'd been unable to think straight, unable to see through his panicked tears. fear and fury coalesced until he had lost control. ]
I still.. shouldn't have pushed you away. It wasn't your fault. It was just too hard to look at you without.. remembering.
[ and seeing that scar, it tore him apart. dan heng has scars of his own, of course, scars from the belt that lashed him until his skin tore, but he can hide them far more easily than dan feng can his. ]
[When Dan Heng relaxes, so does he. There had been no real certainty that the touch would be accepted at all, considering everything. Sure, Dan Feng's memory of that day -- or had it been more than one by the point he could remember more easily? -- was rather dim... but he did hear the report of what had happened after he apparently lost consciousness.
He also had a brief and faded memory of his twin arriving... likely to the sound of something shattering -- he'd not really seen what it had been, only knew it was accompanied by intense pain and darkness. It hadn't necessarily surprised him, how upset Dan Heng had been, though he had initially been surprised how determined it seemed his twin was to simply... never see him again.
... but that wasn't the case now, not completely. There was still distance between them... but they weren't alone anymore. They were speaking again. A first step was important... and he wasn't about to stop taking steps with his twin. Dan Feng shifts slowly, letting his shoulder rest back down against the bed to free that hand to so gently tuck his fingers beneath Dan Heng's chin -- no pressure to the touch... just soft encouragement.]
I understand how easy it is to look back and see what you should or shouldn't have done. I still have countless memories I tell myself I should've handled differently.
[He breathes a quiet sigh, so gently squeezing his brother's hand in his... when he does take a moment to lower his own gaze.]
I know there is little an apology can do... but I am sorry for causing you such pain.
[He lifts his gaze as he apologizes, luminous eyes soft in the dim light filtering through curtains.]
Nothing can be taken back in the end... but we can find our way to work through this together, hm?
[ dan heng hadn't wanted to push his brother away, it had torn him apart to do it, but it had torn him apart to stay, as well. besides, being near him.. it was dangerous, for dan feng. their protective instincts were so strong around one another - what if something similar happened again?
but now they're older, they're on their own, without anyone above them who can hurt them the way their fosters had. still, dan heng worries that the damage is done, that he's hurt them too much by isolating himself, but.. dan feng still holds close to him nonetheless. perhaps they can salvage this.
of course they can salvage this. they love one another, that's all that matters. that's all that they need.
cool fingers touch beneath his chin, and dan heng sighs softly and moves in closer, pressing in near to his twin until there's very little space between them, their joined hands nestled between their chests, their brows touching. being this close to dan feng again.. feels good, and right, and though he's forgotten how to be near to anyone, he hasn't forgotten this. dan feng's scent is so comforting and familiar, he wants to bury himself in it completely, to become lost in everything that is his brother. ]
Together.. yes.
[ he says quietly, squeezing dan feng's hand in his own, his tail coming forward to offer a furtive brush against dan feng's own. ]
[Once it had sunk in that he was simply alone -- that Dan Heng wasn't going to come back -- the following several decades had been their own sort of painful. There had been a brief time where that pain wouldn't have allowed them to reunite like this. No matter how ridiculous and unfair he knew the feeling to be.
Throwing himself into his work as a healer, working until he was exhausted at the end of every day, had helped Dan Feng find it in himself to come to terms with this new normal. Or perhaps more importantly to him, it had allowed him to come to more of an understanding of why they'd needed to part back then. There had been no few people he'd tended to who'd been speaking with another at the time, parsing their emotions of grief, abandonment... all of it.
By the time Dan Heng had approached him once more... Dan Feng had been ready to work through this rift between them. Or at the very least as ready as one could be when it still seemed hard to make eye contact for long.
... but everything would be fine. They would be fine, moving forward one step at a time.
Dan Feng breathes a quiet sigh of relief when most of the distance between them is closed -- when their brows rest together and he allows his eyes to drift closed. It was truly remarkable how right this still felt, how being close to his twin was something he would never forget, no matter the years that passed. The hand that had touched so softly beneath his brother's chin shifts slightly, coming to rest opposite his other -- coming to hold Dan Heng's hand softly between his own.]
I promise you... that I'll do what I can to not dwell on troubled thoughts -- certainly not alone.
[The tip of his tail flicks briefly at the brush of Dan Heng's, and it's only a brief moment before he curls it forward -- before his tail curls so softly around his twin's.]
[ when dan feng accepts his closeness, dan heng feels his breath rush from his body in relief. he knows full well that his brother has no obligation to him, that it would have been well within his rights to keep the distance between them permanent, after dan heng distanced himself, but that he isn't is.. calming. an incredible, wonderful relief. thank the aeons that dan feng was gracious enough to accept him back.
eyes closed, he burrows deep against him, as he had when they were young, and even when they were older, well into their teenage years. inhaling his familiar scent, dan heng sighs softly. ]
If you have troubled thoughts, we can talk about them. Please don't feel the need to keep it inside.
[ he says softly, his free hand holding to dan feng's sleeping shirt, twisting the fabric up in his fingers. guilt claws at his insides, cold as ice. ]
I know you must be.. angry with me.
[ how could he not be upset? dan heng pushed him away, when it had always been the two of them, side by side, protecting one another. he hadn't been strong enough to endure the difficulty of being around him, the flashbacks and panic had been so strong, so overwhelming, he didn't have the ability to control it, to hold it back even enough to breathe. ]
[Dan Feng hums quietly, gentle consideration in the tone even as he seems far more relaxed than he had been until this night. Angry... he couldn't be certain if that was the correct word for any of the things he'd felt all this time.
The quiet doesn't stretch on all that long between them, but while he tried to find the words, his thumb had rubbed so gently on Dan Heng's hand -- his tail coiled more securely around his twin.]
I don't know that angry is the right word...
[In which case... there were still many other words he could use. Dan Feng didn't want to add further depth to the guilt he could hear from his brother as they spoke... but to hold it inside would do neither of them any favors -- especially not when he'd promised not to dwell on his thoughts alone.]
'Hurt' perhaps... though I'm sure I must've seemed somewhat confused the day we parted.
[In truth, he'd certainly been that. Perhaps it had been the lingering fog that had enshrouded his thoughts for a time following the injury... but once he'd managed to sort through just what he felt, hurt felt correct. After a moment and another breath, Dan Feng's voice becomes a little quieter.]
I've understood why you've needed space for years now... and truly I'm simply glad to have you back again.
[ hurt is perhaps worse than angry, but dan heng knows it to be true. of course dan feng was hurt. how could he not be? dan heng had pushed him away so suddenly, with little explanation beyond i can't see you anymore - of course it hurt. they'd been so close, loved each other so very much.
but of course, love was never the problem. dan heng never stopped loving his brother. ]
I.. wasn't strong enough. Wasn't strong enough to look at you without remembering -
[ without the terrible flashbacks washing over him, sending him into waves of uncontrollable panic. the nightmares. the phantom pains. every time he looked into dan feng's face he saw it covered in blood, slack and unconscious - he simply could not bear the pain of it, the fear, the horror and anxiety. ]
I never meant for it to be forever. Only as long as it took for me to learn to cope. Still, I should have been honest with you. I should have given you more, I just.. I didn't know how to put it into words.
[ how can you explain to your twin that just looking into his eyes was intensely painful? dan heng pulls closer, squeezing his brother's hand, nudging his nose along his jawline. ]
[Dan Feng is quiet as he lets Dan Heng talk, tail shifted to carefully hold his twin close to him as he carefully squeezes his hand in return. He knows that in the end, there isn't anything he can say that will ease his brother's guilt. There really is only so much words can do... so while he'll offer what he can, they really do need time and he knows this.
Softly he nuzzles into his brother's hair, gentle sigh fluttering the soft dark strands.]
I may not truly be able to imagine what it was like for you... to see what you did.
[His voice is quiet, gently warm as he shifts just enough that his lips brush his twin's forehead when he speaks again.]
But I do understand that it's never simple to put thoughts or feelings into words, especially not when they happen to be something you're afraid of in some way.
[His tail curls just a little tighter around Dan Heng.]
Fear led me toward foolish decisions when we were young... but I can say that I'll not leave you, no matter what we must endure going forward.
[The words are softer when he finishes. Comfortably close to his twin, weary as they likely both were... Dan Feng is finally relaxing. He'll stay awake as long as his twin needs him... but they could both truly use the rest.]
[ dan feng's words bring him comfort and warmth, and dan heng feels much of the tension he'd been carrying ease out of his shoulders and back, the coil of his tail falling more slack. it curls around dan feng in turn, the tufted tip twitching back and forth against the back of his brother's calf as he sighs softly, sinking against him. ]
I won't leave you, either. Never again.
[ a bold promise, he knows, but one that he means fully and entirely. he has learned how to begin to heal from all that happened to them, how to begin to live for himself, for his own happiness, and how to reach for it. it starts with this, with reconnecting with the person who matters most in his life, the person whom has always been most important to him.
closing his eyes, dan heng nuzzles his nose into dan feng's neck with a soft sigh. ]
We should get some rest. I'm sorry for waking you.
[The last of the tension down Dan Feng's spine eases when his brother says he won't leave him either. Now that he had them back, he truly did dread the thought of losing him again. It had been terrible before... so that it wouldn't happen again was more of a relief than he could even put to words.
He breathes a soft, content hum when Dan Heng nuzzles into his neck, his nose buried in his twin's soft hair as he breathes in his familiar scent. This was how their lives should be... this was perfect.]
It was worth waking up, being able to speak with you.
[His voice is such a gentle murmur, a bit of his weariness bleeding back into it now that they'd settled. Sleep had been difficult before... but this time, pressed close and warm against Dan Heng and surrounded by his familiar scent... Dan Feng was certain he wouldn't have any troubles this time.]
[You can hear the Dragon Lady from one end of the Commission to the other. Once every few months something similar happens. The long lived General of the Luofu gets lectured by the small dragon healer in the middle of the Alchemy Commission about wellfare, taking care of oneself, resting, taking medicine in a timely manner and a host of other infractions. It goes on and on and on until, without fail, the General promises to be more diligent and careful.
And then in a few months time this scene plays out again. Like clockwork.
With the swell of technology and sciences that have come to the Xianzhou there have been remarkable breaks in medicine. And nothing has been quite as fruitful as the mara suppressant. It does not get rid of the mara. That is a curse that can not so easily be weeded out but it does a good if not excellent job in managing it. It is not yet foolproof as soldiers of the long lived species still become afflicted relatively easily. But there is no greater proof to its success than the current Seat of Divine Foresight who is encroaching into a four digit age. A very uncommon feat amongst the Xianzhou people and quite unheard of for a soldier.
He is the perfect candidate for their continued work on the mara suppressant. It also sheds light on other problems their long lived bodies hold that the mara tends to overshadow. Like just the wear and tear of living for so long in bodies that were never quite made to. Their ancestors, after all, were just humans. Thus rest and care are important as Lady Bailu has often tried to explain.
And Jing Yuan does love his rest, make no mistake, but with things turbulent amongst the stars there has been little rest to be found and with the lack of his archivist and assistant within the Seat of Divine Foresight he's been incredibly busy and working long into the night and quite often the dawn. A very unacceptable state to be in according the healer.
Her usual lecture tapers off eventually and she grumbles all the way to her station. The General leans on the counter, folding his arms upon it and resting his chin upon them as Bailu, still muttering her complaints, looks over his charts and makes sure the current dosage is still acceptable. He doesn't stay settled against the desk for too long taking note of a familiar set of horns. And... an extra pair, it would seem. He doesn't wander too far away from Bailu's station lest he get another earful.]
Dan Feng... It is good to see you again. [The General laces his fingers behind his back as he looks over both the familiar healer and someone nearly identical. He'll address that in a moment.] I trust you've been well?
[That the Seat of Divine Foresight lacked an archivist was long common knowledge among the healers in the Alchemy Commission -- truly the Dragon Lady herself bemoaned the fact that the lack made her job even more difficult when it came to looking after the Luofu's General. Dan Feng had mostly kept his thoughts to himself regarding this matter, at least until recently. As much as he'd have liked to make his recommendation for the position... the distance between him and his brother had been far too vast to allow something so simple.
Their reunion was relatively recent at this point... but they'd spoken enough to ease the pain between them considerably -- eased it enough that he suggested the job to Dan Heng this past week. Certainly he was suited to the job, likely better than most options who would consider stepping forward, and there was certainly no harm in extending his twin an invitation to the Alchemy Commission near a time when the General himself would be there.
His day had begun handling the treatment of some Cloud Knights that had been wounded on a patrol of one of the less secured delves.. and he was rather thankful to have finished with that work not long before Dan Heng's agreed upon arrival time.
Reading glasses set aside with the end of his treatment notes, he is able to greet his twin... to the ever so common sound of Lady Bailu quite loudly scolding Jing Yuan. Dan Feng had grown quite used to her complaints, his position as the senior healer just beneath the Dragon Lady's own position leaving him in quite the position for her to vent frustrations to him. It likely helped that the General was his responsibility when she was unable to see the man.
His normally cool expression has warmed considerably with his brother's arrival, and by the time they've caught Jing Yuan's attention -- by the time he approaches -- there is a gentle smile tugging at the corners of Dan Feng's lips. Even for someone who'd loosened up enough to offer the General the occasional small smile, the difference is quite pronounced.
Dan Feng doesn't miss the approach, and he's turned luminous eyes toward the General as the man greets him, tip of his tail swishing idly.]
It is good to see you as well, General. [He pauses, one brow raising just a bit.] Especially for a routine visit.
[There is absolutely a faint but specific weight to those words. The times Jing Yuan showed up at the Commission weren't always so simple, and he made it no secret that he was just as willing to scold the man as Lady Bailu was.]
I am as well as ever, [Half true.] and thankful that you've saved me the trouble of tracking you down.
['Trouble' as if it were difficult, considering how busy the man was. But it would likely be easier on all of them to meet somewhere that wasn't stiflingly quiet -- having less undivided attention directed toward them simply felt... better, in many ways.]
[ to say that dan heng is nervous would be an absolute understatement.
how could he not be? this is potentially the best job he could ever possibly get aboard the luofu, which is quite exciting - he'll have access to an incredible amount of information - yet he would be working directly for the arbiter-general himself. that's quite an intimidating place to be in. jing yuan is known for being an amiable enough fellow, but knowing that and meeting the man are two very different things.
still, dan feng had reassured him that the general was a good man, and easy to get along with. dan heng only hopes that is the case, for he is not particularly good at getting along with anyone, himself. withdrawn and quiet, dan heng has.. well, no friends at all to speak of, outside of his brother. he's a wonderful archivist, yes, but he's not very sociable. he never has been.
but this job isn't about being sociable - he only needs to get along with the general, and the other archivists that would be working beneath him. so together the twins cross the delves to meet with jing yuan at the alchemy commission, his brother's place of work, and as they approach the man himself dan heng feels his stomach tighten with nerves.
oh. oh.. he's handsome.
dan heng has seen the general before, but only ever from a distance - now he's close enough to catch jing yuan's smile, and follow the well-shaped features of his face. no, no, absolutely not, he refuses to entertain such foolish thoughts.. nevermind how popular the general is, how the people whisper of his good looks. dan heng won't be among those lining up to purchase his photograph.
he's not yet addressed, however, so he flicks his gaze down, deferential, his hands folded together in front of him. ]
[The routine visit makes his smile curl and he simply closes his eyes as his whole expression brightens in deep amusement. If by routine visit you mean two weeks late with Bailu dragging him in then, yes... This was just that.
But it is a familiar call out. One he pay less and less mind to as the years continue onward. But Dan Feng has caught his attention with the last part and he opens his eyes once more and cants his head to the side curiously. His gaze darts to the other young man for a brief moment before returning to the healer.]
Is that so...? [He hums as he checks the time, scheduling out the rest of his day and seeing where he can place said conversation. It's just then that Lady Bailu shoves the small paper bag of medicine into his stomach, reciting the usual instructions with a very pointed look. She then hands him a card with his next appointment written out as largely as possible. That gets tucked away and will inevitably lost somewhere between now and retiring for the evening.] If it aligns with your time clock let us take lunch and discuss this matter, whatever it may be. I need to take Lady Bailu's prescription with food as per her very strict instructions.
The meal will be my treat. For both of you. [He gestures to Dan Heng as he speaks.] I insist.
[Truly it would become worrying should Jing Yuan arrive when Lady Bailu wanted him to. There was little more routine in this circumstance than the General needing to be dragged in and scolded loudly enough that their approach could be heard long before they were seen. Dan Feng had been the one to retrieve Jing Yuan on more than a few occasions.
He was rather thankful that in the event where the man needed cloudhymn healing, his treatment was prompt -- especially considering he'd not be allowed to leave following conflict without Dan Feng treating him.
Dan Feng catches Lady Bailu's approach in the moment before he'd have responded, so he simply remains quiet -- simply allows her to take charge of her most difficult patient as he turns his attention to Dan Heng at his side. Even long separated as they'd been, he can still read his bother's nerves as clearly as he ever could... so while the General's attention is momentarily elsewhere, Dan Feng brushes his twin's long hair aside enough to rest his hand at his back, between his shoulder blades.
The gentle warmth that softened his expression when he'd turned his attention to his brother remains when he glances back to Jing Yuan, finally freed from the Dragon Lady's frustrations. He hums quietly, meeting familiar golden eyes with an ease that rather seems to escape many others in the Alchemy Commission.]
As you insist on that, I see no reason to decline. [He pauses briefly, hand still warm against his brother's back.] At the very least, a quieter place to first make proper introductions would serve us well, I believe.
[Truly there was quite a bit of bustle around them, and the curious gazes that he was used to would likely not be helping Dan Heng's nerves in the least. For all he'd love to ease them into the topic of the Seat desperately needing an archivist as soon as possible... speaking where Lady Bailu's gaze wouldn't be staring daggers in their direction could only help matters.]
[ jing yuan's smile is just as kind in person as it seems to be on screens, and dan heng finds a little of his anxiety beginning to fade, though the idea of having lunch with the arbiter-general himself is nervewracking in an entirely different way.
but then dan feng's hand brushes back his soft hair, and lays warm between his shoulderblades, and dan heng exhales softly. even now, his brother's presence is always soothing to him, helping him to find his confidence. the seat needs an archivist, and dan heng knows full well that he is capable of fulfilling the role, he only needs to keep believing that. he is meticulous and critical, with a sharp mind and a memory like a steel trap. there may be other hopefuls that are just as good as him, perhaps, but that doesn't mean he should worry about his own ability.
nevermind that people might complain and cry nepotism, should he be the one chosen for the role, but.. that will hardly bother him. let people think what they will think. dan feng is a respected member of the community, if he says that dan heng is capable, then he is capable, and public opinion is irrelevant. ]
Of course, General.
[ he says politely, bowing his head respectfully, though his eyes remain lifted to jing yuan's golden ones. he takes a breath, visibly relaxing beneath dan feng's touch. ]
[Jing Yuan offers a nod at their agreement and turns to go. Not before lifting a hand in parting to Lady Bailu who simply shoots him a look. A quieter place, as requested, may a bit of a tall order. Where the General goes people talk and stare. But he knows a place or two that offer some semblance of quiet. If they will be so at this hour remains to be seen.
Aurum Alley is where he opts to lead taking familiar streets until they reach the heart of it. Bustling food stalls line the streets offering all sorts of wears but the General walks past them to little indoor restaurant which will be out of sight and mostly empty due to most people helping themselves to the stalls. The food offered is lots of fried goods but rather filling and there are a large variety of teas and other Luofu signature drinks.
Jing Yuan continues to lead towards the back. It's not a noisy place but back here means that they do have some privacy from the few people that are here. It only takes a moment for a young woman to come, flushed face at the sight of the three of them, and take down whatever it is they intend to eat.]
Proper introductions first, I believe you said. [Jing Yuan begins, folding his arms over the table and smiles at both young men.] I fear I don't need any introduction but just in case... I am Arbiter General, Jing Yuan. And I am familiar with my on occasion healer, Dan Feng. So that must make you...
[He smiles a bit knowingly, clearly aware of who Dan Heng is for one reason or another. But perhaps it's to be expected from the very long lived Arbiter General. However he has come across this knowledge of the formally estranged twin he says nothing more and allows the young man to introduce himself should he wish to.]
[It really wasn't all that often that he and Dan Heng would eat at any of the shops, either opting for one or the other to bring something home, or even prepare something themselves, so it really is for the best that they allow Jing Yuan to decide on their destination. Through their trip, Dan Feng makes a point of staying close to his brother's side -- not that it's especially uncommon for them at this point -- hoping at least to ease any nerves that linger along the way.
Eventually seated and having ordered -- Dan Feng ever without much of an appetite, and a very small order of light fare -- he settles comfortably at his twin's side. Perhaps they sit closer to one another than would strictly be necessary, but he isn't interested in paying judgment based on common choice any mind.
Dan Feng does rest his hands both in his lap though, one leg crossed primly over the other as his tail curves around his ankles and easily out of the way. Or at the least out of the way of any others, the tufted end flicking idly in the space between his chair and his brother's. Whether or not proximity was needed, an offer of closeness was simply always there now that they'd reunited and had their time to speak.
... it would of course be easy if he were to be the one to introduce Dan Heng, but with the General having begun the introductions, Dan Feng simply nods when he's addressed. He'd be happy to take over as much of the talking as his brother wished of him.. but for now, he would leave the introduction in his hands. He was primarily here as his twin's support, after all.]
[ dan heng is, of course, plenty familiar with aurum alley, he's shopped here plenty of times, but there's always something interesting to look at, so he casts his glance around toward the many kiosks and storefronts that they pass, until jing yuan guides them to a small, private little restaurant. once they are comfortably seated, dan heng releases a soft breath. ]
I am Dan Heng.
[ he dips his head respectfully. ]
It is good to meet you formally, General Jing Yuan. Thank you for considering me for the position.
[ dan heng might be nervous about the idea of accepting it, should jing yuan extend a formal offer, but.. he has to be confident, has to try his best. dan feng has given him this chance, and he cannot sully his brother's good name by misbehaving and not giving this his all. so he sits straight and gives jing yuan his full attention, both hands folded in his lap. ]
[The General cants his head to the side at those words. Position? His eyes dart between the two near identical Vidyadhara before he hums in a gentle understanding.]
The position as my archivist in the Seat of Divine Foresight? [His gaze lingers on Dan Feng for a lengthy moment, knowing very well that this is his doing. Qingzu stepping down and retiring has left a large hole within his staff. One he had not replaced. For nearly as long as he's been General she's been serving by his side. But a long life Xianzhou citizen will even outlive the lengthy lifespans of the Vidyadhara. Especially these days.] Admittedly... It was not a position I was currently looking to fill at present.
[That has been his consistent answer since Qingzu left and it's an answer that no one likes. The work load without her presence has easily tripled with no one directing the workflow. She certainly did far more than her position asked of her. And replacing her is not necessarily going to make things run as smoothly as before. So he simply hasn't, doing the work himself no matter how long it takes.
If it were anyone but these two he would decline without hesitation. But the situation is interesting enough that he's near tempted to indulge the request. He's aware of these two and has been for some time. The incident that occurred was what finally allowed the Xianzhou to do some serious reforms with the system for orphaned children. When Dan Feng appeared in the Alchemy Commission he had looked into the both of them just a bit. He had always found it curious that the one twin never spoke of the other. And now here they both are. Quite suddenly.
That alone, of course, would not be enough to give someone such a highly coveted position within his office but he is learning towards allowing it if only because if it wasn't for these two many more children would be suffering within the system.]
But I could be convinced. [He brings his drink to his lips, sipping the warm tea he ordered and was brought over as he contemplated.] I must say, Dan Feng... We should play chess at some point. If you're as tactical with that game as you were with this you'll be quite the opponent. It is rare I find my General cornered by two chariots but here we are.
[And people have tried and tried very hard to get this long empty position in his office.
To say nothing of the scene in general which is him taking a break, eating lunch, will be watched until he takes his medicine and now having the open position in his office possibly being filled. Check after check after check, it would seem.]
[The conversation he'd had the previous night with Dan Heng regarding this position had been rather long and involved. The intention hadn't really been to manipulate the situation to their advantage in a setting where they could be overheard as easily as here, but it had certainly been a variable left up to chance. Manipulation hadn't even necessarily been the aim at all, simply persuasion with... minor advantage.
Still though when Jing Yuan's gaze lingers on him, Dan Feng gazes back without hesitation. Having known the General for years at this point, he'd long since lost any sense of the awe or intimidation that most seemed to feel in his presence. Perhaps that was simply a side-effect of seeing the Dragon Lady scold the man on many occasions, or being near him on the very same battlefield while tending to wounded Cloud Knights -- even him on rare occasion.
Sitting primly, Dan Feng takes a slow sip of his own tea, appearing completely at ease in the moment -- never mind the way the tufted tip of his tail slowly curls against Dan Heng's in silent comfort and encouragement. For his twin of course, but perhaps grounding himself as well.]
I could certainly be convinced into a game, General. Though it would wholly depend upon any free time we may have in common.
[Free time... something that Jing Yuan rather lacked during normal hours, considering the state of his workload. This wasn't a threat in the least, however... no, by the tone of his voice, Dan Feng is simply being realistic about what they would need in order to facilitate these potential games.
Besides... he'd already made the suggestion that he find a new archivist for the sake of Jing Yuan's health, even well before he'd reunited with his twin.]
Talk of tactics aside, the simple fact is that I've known you long enough to know precisely what the previous archivist handled for the Seat of Divine Foresight. And I'd like to believe you've known me long enough to know that I'm not one to make a recommendation without thought.
[In truth, he'd made many recommendations over the years, and not only to Jing Yuan. There were people who had been suited to very specific jobs, and even if it had been someone he outright disliked... if they were the most suited for a position, he certainly wasn't too blind or stubborn to say so.]
At the very least, there's simply no harm in arranging a meeting to allow you to meet and come to your conclusion one way or another.
[Dan Feng takes another slow sip of his tea, luminous green eyes still never leaving Jing Yuan. He truly had every confidence that Dan Heng could handle the position far better than any who had already tried for the job... and this confidence truly had nothing to do with them being twins. Even only newly reunited, he'd done what he could to keep an eye on his brother all this time... wanted only the best for him, and had been proud of everything he'd accomplished while they'd been apart.]
[ jing yuan's response prompts a look of surprise from dan heng, his brows lifting high for a moment, before understanding settles in. so the general has been putting off the idea of hiring a new archivist for some time now.. hmm.
when dan feng's tail brushes his own, dan heng responds in kind, the tufted tip of his tail gently laying against dan feng's. ]
General, forgive my forwardness, but being without an Archivist for too long will burden not only you, but the entire Seat of Divine Foresight.
[ a little starstruck though he may be upon meeting the general, dan heng knows that if he wants a real chance at this job he'll need to be assertive and confident. the worst that can happen is that jing yuan will say no, after all, so there's no harm in trying his best. ]
I understand that filling Qingzu's shoes is a task that must seem insurmountable, but I have every confidence that I can manage it without issue.
[ and so he slides open his phone, calling up the hologram file of his resume, which he turns toward jing yuan, to be either looked over now, or saved to his own phone for later. he'll find it incredibly neat and clean down to the last detail, and filled with previous positions and references both, clearly showing his expertise as well as the confidence his past coworkers held in his ability. dan heng might be a cold and distant sort of man, but he's certainly a hard and diligent worker.
setting down his phone, he takes another sip of tea. ]
Perhaps a probationary period would suit us both? Give me two weeks to prove to you that I can lighten your load substantially. If you're not satisfied with my work, you can dismiss me without complaint.
[The General cornered by two chariots indeed. He looks between the two as they speak to him, allowing his posture and expression to become more neutral and professional. This... was not how he expected lunch to go. And that he's being cornered about this no matter where he goes by various individuals within his life is exhausting.
As he is running the Seat of Divine Foresight by himself, for the most part, there is certainly truth in all that is being said to him on the regular. But still... His gaze falls to the wayside as he contemplates and then drawn to the food that is served before them.
Out of principle he wants to decline. But he is slowing down. Not due to mara but just nearly a thousand years of living is wearing him out. It's why his visits to the doctor are so insisted upon. At this age he shouldn't be pushing himself as hard as he currently is. But better for people to harp on this than trying to get him to retire again. That's not a round of conversations he's particularly keen on repeating once again.
Jing Yuan lifts his gaze to pull Dan Heng's phone closer to him so he can look over the resume. There's a lot of good work here. A fine archivist, to be certain. But one he isn't certain that will fill the current gap in his staff. At present there's no one at all that can...
At the end of the day that's certainly the heart of the matter. Clinging to the past as it slowly slips away. This is not an uncommon habit of his but there are few that would remember that after so long now.]
Two weeks for a trial run. [He slides Dan Heng's phone back over to him after a very lengthy pause of consideration.] I can make no promises of continued employment after that. That position is not something that just anyone can be hired into. But if it doesn't work out I can find you a position elsewhere that suits your skill set.
[Dan Feng has gotten quite good at appearing unaffected and neutral in his confidence, no matter what matters he may face in a public setting. That wasn't to say that he felt as confident as he appeared, and when Jing Yuan's attention is more on his twin than himself, he allows his eyes to drift closed as he listens.
There's a comfort for him as well in the way Dan Heng's tail lays against his own, but even with that there's a tightness in his chest that he knows isn't about to go away anytime soon. Dan Feng was resilient, but with their past any kind of interpersonal maneuvering or even minor clashes with uncertain outcome did leave him unsettled at best, anxious at worst. That Jing Yuan would never even consider causing harm to either of them, even if there were no eyes on them and nobody would ever know, did a great deal to keep the worst of his anxieties at bay... but that also didn't mean things couldn't be irreparably damaged between them should something go awry.
When it came right down to it, Dan Feng didn't believe he knew the General quite as well as Lady Bailu seemed to, and certainly not as well as his previous archivist had... but that didn't mean that he wasn't just as concerned as the other healers at the Commission. Long lived as Xianzhou natives could be, there were few he could recall who'd lived as long as Jing Yuan had... and none of them had remained even a fraction as sound of body and mind as their General was. The man was good for the Luofu, and the Xianzhou Alliance as a whole, and it had absolutely not escaped Dan Feng the way the foster care system had been completely reformed from the ground up following his and Dan Heng's story being highly publicized.
With all of that in mind, perhaps his concern was related to more than simply his responsibilities as a healer.
... that was certainly nothing he needed to have on his mind, and Dan Feng forces those thoughts to the back of his mind with the rest when he opens his eyes once more. The light normally in his eyes is quite dimmed with thought though as he listens... his food for the moment remaining untouched. This deal between Dan Heng and Jing Yuan was nothing for him to have any further hand in, so he simply maintains his silence as he finishes his tea and sets the cup aside.]
[ dan heng's chest feels tight as well, much of his confidence simple bravado. fake it 'til you make it, as they say, and when jing yuan's easy warmth melts into cooler authority, he worries that he has perhaps misstepped, or pushed too quickly when he'd hoped only to display his own confidence in himself.
still, all does not seem to be lost, for in the end.. jing yuan still accepts his deal.
releasing a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding, dan heng straightens his shoulders and nods, his heart still pounding against his ribs. he knows he does good work, knows that he can handle whatever the seat of divine foresight might throw at him, but that doesn't mean that it's easy to take on someone like jing yuan, either, and come out of it not feeling rattled. ]
Yes, that is more than acceptable.
[ he says, a little more softly, his nerves showing through, but he's sure to keep his spine straight, even if his tail tightens around dan feng's beneath the table, in need of the assurance. ]
Thank you, General. You may have your misgivings, but you have my word that you won't be disappointed.
[ he will work hard to make jing yuan's job easier, to support the seat to the best of his ability. ]
[He gives Dan Heng a nod and begins to stand from his seat.]
You can start at the beginning of the week. [He lifts a hand to the waitress to meet him at the counter and then offers the twins a faint smile.] I apologize for leaving before we could begin our lunch but these new developments mean I have to go and prepare for a new employee. But as it was my idea to go out to eat you can rest easy in knowing it's already been paid for. Still my treat, as promised.
Think of it as a thank you for Doctor Dan Feng always looking after me. [He pushes his chair in and fruitlessly shakes his bangs out of his eyes.] Please enjoy your meal and I will see both of you sometime soon.
[He won't be hearing otherwise about needing to depart regardless of any possible protests. But he does happen to leave without the small paper bag of medicine given to him by the Dragon Lady. Which was a genuine accident. Truly.]
[When Dan Heng's tail tightens around his own, Dan Feng's tail shifts to return the assurance gently. He could recall his own anxieties when work had made interaction between himself and Jing Yuan a necessity -- something he'd pushed himself through each time, as not even the Arbiter-General was above medical advice. Considering even he could feel nerves gnawing at him once the conversation became serious... all he wanted in the end was to look after and support his twin.
Dan Feng's gaze lifts to Jing Yuan as the man stands finally, the look in his eyes certainly calmer than he felt. The arrangement made was a good sign -- one that no others had managed regardless of how many times he'd seen the General ambushed by hopeful archivists -- as was the faint smile. They would simply have to see which way things went in the coming days... and over the two weeks trial period.]
You will indeed, General. You can count on it.
[Between Dan Heng's scheduled work at the beginning of the week, and the inevitability of Jing Yuan needing to stop by the Alchemy Commission... well it really was only a matter of time. For now though, Dan Feng wasn't about to stop the man. The last thing he wanted was to even risk pushing their luck farther than the conversation had.
It isn't until Jing Yuan has left the building entirely that Dan Feng allows himself to breathe a slow sigh, back resting a bit more heavily against his seat. For as little as he tended to relax outside of home, he does allow his tail to ease even more around his twin's, near hand lifting to brush the backs of his fingers against Dan Heng's hand.]
I'm sorry that this felt... more tense than I'd expected it to. But I have every confidence that the General will see just what I do, over those two weeks.
[Dan Feng knew that his twin would be the only one truly qualified for the position... and that this stubborn General of theirs wouldn't be able to refuse in the end.
... refusing his medicine was another matter entirely, but the abandoned paper bag wasn't important right now. It simply meant that Jing Yuan would indeed be seeing him soon.]
[Regardless of whether or not Jing Yuan had left the bag of medicine behind intentionally that day just over a week ago, the man was rather fortunate that Dan Feng hadn't mentioned anything about it to Lady Bailu. He could absolutlely recall a time or two when she'd not been afraid to hunt the Arbiter-General down to scold him -- he'd had to accompany her a time or two considering it certainly hadn't always happened safely in the Seat of Divine Foresight or the Alchemy Commission.
Perhaps because of those few times accompanying the Dragon Lady, Dan Feng is fairly certain where he'll find the man considering the hour.. so the time finds him in the market. It wasn't necessarily his own lunch hour yet... but he'd delivered a handful of items to far less stubborn or problematic patients on Lady Bailu's behalf, since he'd become quite good at finding anyone whether or not they'd wanted to be found... and now he had some free time to deliver this... secret delivery, of sorts.
Keen eyes have little difficulty finding the General, and it's with a light swish of the tip of his tufted tail that he simply approaches with a casual stride that draws faint surprise from the gossips at entry tables watching Jing Yuan in some form of awe.]
General, I hope you wouldn't mind a moment of company?
[With a delicate arch of his brow, Dan Feng's head tilts only slightly... as he punctuates his question by setting the previously abandoned medicine bag on the table at Jing Yuan's elbow.]
[Jing Yuan is leisurely sitting at his usual table at this small restaurant. Eyes half lidded as he watches the bustle of the marketplace during this lunch hour, a little before the rush. There's a steaming cup of tea in front of him and a half eaten bowl of noodles. Dan Feng's quiet approach has him lifting his head slightly to meet the visitor.
His lips curl into a warm smile at the sight of the Vidyadhara and he nods his head in greeting before gesturing to the seat across from him. And only then does he give any attention to the paper bag which he peers into curiously.]
Ahhh... I was wondering where this got to though I lacked the courage to tell the Dragon Lady that I had lost it. [He laughs warmly and pulls out the bottle of medicine inside, diligently taking one of the pills so not to earn any wrath from his doctors.] Thank you for returning it.
[Only once Jing Yuan gestures to the seat across from him does Dan Feng take the seat, a soft sigh slipping from parted lips. He takes a moment to address the young attendant to approach him -- a tea he requests on his own separate check once she asks that as well -- and primly crosses one leg over the other as she leaves.]
I'd have seen it returned to you sooner, had I not worried it might once more be lost amidst your adjustment to this test period.
[... sure that wasn't the reason, but very few people could catch him in a half-truth... and fewer still who could would bring it up. Dan Feng was quite certain he wasn't nearly as much a mystery to Jing Yuan as he was to even his peers in the Alchemy Commission, but that certainly wasn't about to change the story he told.
After a moment, he allows his expression to soften just a little, head tilting only just -- the scar left behind at his hairline briefly visible as his fringe shifts with the motion.]
... had we truly left you out of sorts enough to forget?
[For all that the quiet words could be barbed from another, there's only a faint hint of concern. No guilt, for he'd no regrets but... well, he wanted to help the man, not make his life or work more difficult.]
[He diligently takes the pill with tea and swallows it down, smiling at the reason why it's only being given to him now. A fair enough point, he can admit even if he doubts that's completely true. He has a few guesses but nothing worth mentioning.
The comment that does follow does make him visually pause. His movement of setting his cup down on the table completely ceases for a full second before he continues.
Ah.]
Would it be so shocking that it was? [He shifts in his chair, making himself more comfortably.] I had thought I had always made it quite clear on my stance of taking a new assistant. I would have appreciated a private conversation before hand but... [He rests his chin on the palm of his hand.] It's not as if I don't understand why you chose the way you did it. I would have dismissed it in a private conversation, I know.
What other recourse was there for you to get your formally estranged twin a job with me?
[Dan Feng is quiet as he listens, though after a few moments he sits back a bit in his chair, his arms folding loosely at the base of his ribs. Certainly a familiar enough pose, considering how he would adopt a similar stance during consults where he had to be particularly focused. So typically, Jing Yuan's, when they became his job occasionally.]
... at this point I hope you can forgive me, but I've long lost track of how many times the topic of finding you an assistant has been brought up during consultations with both myself and Lady Bailu. I do remember that you have dismissed each one, however.
[His tail flicks once -- just briefly before he coils it around the legs of his chair deliberately. He does pause briefly enough to thank the attendant politely when she brings his tea... and doesn't speak up again until she's off at another table.]
Years now and I've never recommended another for the position, and I assure you that nepotism played no part in my recommendation of Dan Heng. I trust you know me well enough by now to believe that?
[His gaze shifts to the table between them finally, allowing this small sign of uncertainty to surface.]
... I want the best for him, it is true.. but I want the best for you as well, General, and I believe that he can truly ease the weight over your shoulders.
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dan heng + dan feng; homecoming
well, it's strange, but it's also a great comfort. to say that he had missed his twin would be a grand understatement. being without him had been torture, like missing a part of his heart and soul, so even though they haven't entirely talked things through yet.. coming to their shared flat still feels like coming home.
it's a lovely space, with a wide open area and tall windows that let the light in. it's nicely furnished to both of their tastes, packed with bookcases and a writing desk, water gardens on the terrace, and several quiet nooks in which to meditate. it's only been a few days since they moved into this shared space together, there are still some growing pains, but they're both neat, tidy people who respect one another's space, so dan heng doesn't expect that there will be any issues. beyond, at least, the talk that they still need to have.
night has fallen, and dan heng can't sleep. the quiet is deafening, but any music or sounds he plays to help feel too loud, as well. he knows what he wants, knows where he wants to be, but he's hesitating. things have changed, haven't they? he can't just go crawling into dan feng's bed like he used to - yet the desire to do just that is strong. the night crawls on, dan heng tosses and turns until at last he throws back the blankets with a heavy sigh and slips out of bed.
dan heng's footfalls are soft, silent as he moves through the loft to dan feng's room, where he finds the door slightly ajar and, pushing it open, he slips into the dimness and moves toward his brother's bed, hesitating a moment before he climbs beneath the warm blankets. ]
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When they'd moved back in together, it was as if a part of himself long missing had finally been returned. He wasn't entirely certain if he would be able to endure the same isolation again. Having Dan Heng back... he was happy, more than he'd been in a long time. Even with the talk they still needed to have, this was something he'd not give up, not even for the entire Alliance.
Their first several days moving into this lovely flat together had been spent unpacking what they'd accumulated during their time apart. It had been nice to know that what they liked in a living space had remained the same even after all this time. Once things were settled... once they had places to retreat to should they need it... then perhaps they could have that talk.
For his part that night, it certainly hadn't been easy for Dan Feng to finally fall asleep. Their talk was much needed... and it was difficult for him to stop running through possible scenarios in his mind over and over again. As for whether the sleep is restful... not at all. Even outwardly there are signs of a troubled mind, for all he sleeps as quietly as ever.
His twin had always walked so quietly that it isn't until he feels the blanket move -- feels a body slipping in next to him -- before he's drawn from sleep. He breathes a tired hum before luminous eyes open partway. Enough to see the feeling hadn't been a dream. When he speaks, the tone of his voice is low and weary... but not displeased in any way.]
Mm, a-Heng..? Trouble sleeping...?
[For all it's been so long... this was how their life had been. This was the life he missed. He certainly wasn't about to push his twin away at all, but certainly not in a moment like this.]
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[ he says softly, even a little stiffly, formally, as if the man beside him isn't his twin brother, but a stranger. but that isn't true. that isn't the case. dan feng is everything to him, dan heng simply does not know how to be close to him anymore.. but it starts with this, doesn't it? with taking the first step.
after a moment's hesitation, dan heng turns onto his side to face his brother, his eyes on dan feng's, and he feels.. guilty for waking him, he sounds so tired. perhaps he should come back another time, but - he's already disturbed him, it would be foolish to withdraw now that the damage is done. besides, knowing dan feng, he'll be chased back down to make sure he's all right. resting his head against his arm, dan heng plucks at the sheets with his free hand. ]
Mm.. I can't sleep. It's strange, being back with you again. [ a beat. ] Strange, but not bad.
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[The formality of the response is easily enough to give him pause. With how tired he was, he'd simply fallen into what had been their normal before they'd parted ways on less than pleasant terms. Dan Heng was right in the end... they simply weren't close like they used to be. These thoughts are easily enough to rouse him a bit more from his slumber, a barely audible sigh passing his lips.]
There's really nothing to apologize for.
[For all he didn't want to, Dan Feng's own tone of voice has shifted. He was still weary, clearly still cared deeply considering the warmth of his words... but the impression that he'd stepped back a bit was still there as an undercurrent. The last thing he wanted was to push his twin away by speaking as if nothing had happened.
He shifts just a little himself when Dan Heng turns over, enough to make it a bit easier for them to speak... enough that they weren't as close as they used to lay. It is nice, in its own way... Dan Heng isn't leaving him now that he's awake as well. His breath leaves him in a soft hum, eyes drifting closed just briefly as he smooths some of his hair back from his face -- not enough to show the scar he still had from that day so long ago, but... enough otherwise.]
It is... different. [His eyes drift open again, a bit more aware than when he'd first awoken.] I never thought I'd be able to share a space with you again.
[Unable... but not because of himself. He was the one who caused the problem, even with plenty of blame on those terrible "parents"... so he wouldn't have been surprised if they'd simply remained distant.]
It's something of a relief to have been wrong.
[It was something he never felt otherwise. In their separation, he had become rather distant from those around him. He was talented and confident, skilled enough to be where he was. Skilled and bright enough to very rarely be wrong. If they'd crossed paths, even at a distance, he can't be certain his twin would recognize who he'd become.]
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but he wants to remember. he wants that closeness again. he yearns for it. ]
I'm.. sorry. It's my fault that we were apart to begin with.
[ dan heng drops his gaze away, his hand against the sheets curling into a tight fist. he knows that it was because of him that they fell apart, because he pushed dan feng away when he shouldn't have, because he was too afraid and too shocked to know how to be near him without it hurting right down to his soul.
swallowing thickly, dan heng curls his long tail around himself, bowing his head. ]
I didn't want us to split apart, I just..
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After a breath, he lifts one of his hands, placing it lightly over Dan Heng's where he holds tightly to the sheets. It wasn't where he wanted to stop -- he wanted to hold his twin and be a comfort as he used to be... but not yet. He can't yet...]
I never laid any of the blame on you.
[Dan Feng shifts slightly, propping himself a bit upright on his other elbow, tail curled idly at his ankles as he lets his thumb brush against Dan Heng's hand softly.]
If I must, at least half of the blame rests on my shoulders. I never considered that you would feel exactly as I had, when I could no longer stand to see anything happen to you.
[His eyes eventually lower to where his hand rests warmly over Dan Heng's. It was something he'd thought about a time or two since then. Even if he couldn't be certain he wouldn't stand between his twin and pain ever again, he could only imagine how it must've looked... Dan Heng finding him on the ground, most of his face covered in blood from a nasty split just below his hairline above his right eye.]
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dan heng chews his lower lip, his brow pinching uncertainly. his heart had ached, being apart from dan feng, yet it aches now, too, seeing him, and remembering. ]
I.. I just..
[ dan heng lowers his eyes, his expression tight with pain. he doesn't know how to properly explain, how to tell dan feng how horrible it was to see him like that, how absolutely terrified he had been. the fear of losing him had been so overpowering that he'd been unable to think straight, unable to see through his panicked tears. fear and fury coalesced until he had lost control. ]
I still.. shouldn't have pushed you away. It wasn't your fault. It was just too hard to look at you without.. remembering.
[ and seeing that scar, it tore him apart. dan heng has scars of his own, of course, scars from the belt that lashed him until his skin tore, but he can hide them far more easily than dan feng can his. ]
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[When Dan Heng relaxes, so does he. There had been no real certainty that the touch would be accepted at all, considering everything. Sure, Dan Feng's memory of that day -- or had it been more than one by the point he could remember more easily? -- was rather dim... but he did hear the report of what had happened after he apparently lost consciousness.
He also had a brief and faded memory of his twin arriving... likely to the sound of something shattering -- he'd not really seen what it had been, only knew it was accompanied by intense pain and darkness. It hadn't necessarily surprised him, how upset Dan Heng had been, though he had initially been surprised how determined it seemed his twin was to simply... never see him again.
... but that wasn't the case now, not completely. There was still distance between them... but they weren't alone anymore. They were speaking again. A first step was important... and he wasn't about to stop taking steps with his twin. Dan Feng shifts slowly, letting his shoulder rest back down against the bed to free that hand to so gently tuck his fingers beneath Dan Heng's chin -- no pressure to the touch... just soft encouragement.]
I understand how easy it is to look back and see what you should or shouldn't have done. I still have countless memories I tell myself I should've handled differently.
[He breathes a quiet sigh, so gently squeezing his brother's hand in his... when he does take a moment to lower his own gaze.]
I know there is little an apology can do... but I am sorry for causing you such pain.
[He lifts his gaze as he apologizes, luminous eyes soft in the dim light filtering through curtains.]
Nothing can be taken back in the end... but we can find our way to work through this together, hm?
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but now they're older, they're on their own, without anyone above them who can hurt them the way their fosters had. still, dan heng worries that the damage is done, that he's hurt them too much by isolating himself, but.. dan feng still holds close to him nonetheless. perhaps they can salvage this.
of course they can salvage this. they love one another, that's all that matters. that's all that they need.
cool fingers touch beneath his chin, and dan heng sighs softly and moves in closer, pressing in near to his twin until there's very little space between them, their joined hands nestled between their chests, their brows touching. being this close to dan feng again.. feels good, and right, and though he's forgotten how to be near to anyone, he hasn't forgotten this. dan feng's scent is so comforting and familiar, he wants to bury himself in it completely, to become lost in everything that is his brother. ]
Together.. yes.
[ he says quietly, squeezing dan feng's hand in his own, his tail coming forward to offer a furtive brush against dan feng's own. ]
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Throwing himself into his work as a healer, working until he was exhausted at the end of every day, had helped Dan Feng find it in himself to come to terms with this new normal. Or perhaps more importantly to him, it had allowed him to come to more of an understanding of why they'd needed to part back then. There had been no few people he'd tended to who'd been speaking with another at the time, parsing their emotions of grief, abandonment... all of it.
By the time Dan Heng had approached him once more... Dan Feng had been ready to work through this rift between them. Or at the very least as ready as one could be when it still seemed hard to make eye contact for long.
... but everything would be fine. They would be fine, moving forward one step at a time.
Dan Feng breathes a quiet sigh of relief when most of the distance between them is closed -- when their brows rest together and he allows his eyes to drift closed. It was truly remarkable how right this still felt, how being close to his twin was something he would never forget, no matter the years that passed. The hand that had touched so softly beneath his brother's chin shifts slightly, coming to rest opposite his other -- coming to hold Dan Heng's hand softly between his own.]
I promise you... that I'll do what I can to not dwell on troubled thoughts -- certainly not alone.
[The tip of his tail flicks briefly at the brush of Dan Heng's, and it's only a brief moment before he curls it forward -- before his tail curls so softly around his twin's.]
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eyes closed, he burrows deep against him, as he had when they were young, and even when they were older, well into their teenage years. inhaling his familiar scent, dan heng sighs softly. ]
If you have troubled thoughts, we can talk about them. Please don't feel the need to keep it inside.
[ he says softly, his free hand holding to dan feng's sleeping shirt, twisting the fabric up in his fingers. guilt claws at his insides, cold as ice. ]
I know you must be.. angry with me.
[ how could he not be upset? dan heng pushed him away, when it had always been the two of them, side by side, protecting one another. he hadn't been strong enough to endure the difficulty of being around him, the flashbacks and panic had been so strong, so overwhelming, he didn't have the ability to control it, to hold it back even enough to breathe. ]
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[Dan Feng hums quietly, gentle consideration in the tone even as he seems far more relaxed than he had been until this night. Angry... he couldn't be certain if that was the correct word for any of the things he'd felt all this time.
The quiet doesn't stretch on all that long between them, but while he tried to find the words, his thumb had rubbed so gently on Dan Heng's hand -- his tail coiled more securely around his twin.]
I don't know that angry is the right word...
[In which case... there were still many other words he could use. Dan Feng didn't want to add further depth to the guilt he could hear from his brother as they spoke... but to hold it inside would do neither of them any favors -- especially not when he'd promised not to dwell on his thoughts alone.]
'Hurt' perhaps... though I'm sure I must've seemed somewhat confused the day we parted.
[In truth, he'd certainly been that. Perhaps it had been the lingering fog that had enshrouded his thoughts for a time following the injury... but once he'd managed to sort through just what he felt, hurt felt correct. After a moment and another breath, Dan Feng's voice becomes a little quieter.]
I've understood why you've needed space for years now... and truly I'm simply glad to have you back again.
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but of course, love was never the problem. dan heng never stopped loving his brother. ]
I.. wasn't strong enough. Wasn't strong enough to look at you without remembering -
[ without the terrible flashbacks washing over him, sending him into waves of uncontrollable panic. the nightmares. the phantom pains. every time he looked into dan feng's face he saw it covered in blood, slack and unconscious - he simply could not bear the pain of it, the fear, the horror and anxiety. ]
I never meant for it to be forever. Only as long as it took for me to learn to cope. Still, I should have been honest with you. I should have given you more, I just.. I didn't know how to put it into words.
[ how can you explain to your twin that just looking into his eyes was intensely painful? dan heng pulls closer, squeezing his brother's hand, nudging his nose along his jawline. ]
I never wanted to hurt you. I'm glad to be back.
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Softly he nuzzles into his brother's hair, gentle sigh fluttering the soft dark strands.]
I may not truly be able to imagine what it was like for you... to see what you did.
[His voice is quiet, gently warm as he shifts just enough that his lips brush his twin's forehead when he speaks again.]
But I do understand that it's never simple to put thoughts or feelings into words, especially not when they happen to be something you're afraid of in some way.
[His tail curls just a little tighter around Dan Heng.]
Fear led me toward foolish decisions when we were young... but I can say that I'll not leave you, no matter what we must endure going forward.
[The words are softer when he finishes. Comfortably close to his twin, weary as they likely both were... Dan Feng is finally relaxing. He'll stay awake as long as his twin needs him... but they could both truly use the rest.]
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I won't leave you, either. Never again.
[ a bold promise, he knows, but one that he means fully and entirely. he has learned how to begin to heal from all that happened to them, how to begin to live for himself, for his own happiness, and how to reach for it. it starts with this, with reconnecting with the person who matters most in his life, the person whom has always been most important to him.
closing his eyes, dan heng nuzzles his nose into dan feng's neck with a soft sigh. ]
We should get some rest. I'm sorry for waking you.
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He breathes a soft, content hum when Dan Heng nuzzles into his neck, his nose buried in his twin's soft hair as he breathes in his familiar scent. This was how their lives should be... this was perfect.]
It was worth waking up, being able to speak with you.
[His voice is such a gentle murmur, a bit of his weariness bleeding back into it now that they'd settled. Sleep had been difficult before... but this time, pressed close and warm against Dan Heng and surrounded by his familiar scent... Dan Feng was certain he wouldn't have any troubles this time.]
Jing Yuan + twins; Alchemy Commission
And then in a few months time this scene plays out again. Like clockwork.
With the swell of technology and sciences that have come to the Xianzhou there have been remarkable breaks in medicine. And nothing has been quite as fruitful as the mara suppressant. It does not get rid of the mara. That is a curse that can not so easily be weeded out but it does a good if not excellent job in managing it. It is not yet foolproof as soldiers of the long lived species still become afflicted relatively easily. But there is no greater proof to its success than the current Seat of Divine Foresight who is encroaching into a four digit age. A very uncommon feat amongst the Xianzhou people and quite unheard of for a soldier.
He is the perfect candidate for their continued work on the mara suppressant. It also sheds light on other problems their long lived bodies hold that the mara tends to overshadow. Like just the wear and tear of living for so long in bodies that were never quite made to. Their ancestors, after all, were just humans. Thus rest and care are important as Lady Bailu has often tried to explain.
And Jing Yuan does love his rest, make no mistake, but with things turbulent amongst the stars there has been little rest to be found and with the lack of his archivist and assistant within the Seat of Divine Foresight he's been incredibly busy and working long into the night and quite often the dawn. A very unacceptable state to be in according the healer.
Her usual lecture tapers off eventually and she grumbles all the way to her station. The General leans on the counter, folding his arms upon it and resting his chin upon them as Bailu, still muttering her complaints, looks over his charts and makes sure the current dosage is still acceptable. He doesn't stay settled against the desk for too long taking note of a familiar set of horns. And... an extra pair, it would seem. He doesn't wander too far away from Bailu's station lest he get another earful.]
Dan Feng... It is good to see you again. [The General laces his fingers behind his back as he looks over both the familiar healer and someone nearly identical. He'll address that in a moment.] I trust you've been well?
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Their reunion was relatively recent at this point... but they'd spoken enough to ease the pain between them considerably -- eased it enough that he suggested the job to Dan Heng this past week. Certainly he was suited to the job, likely better than most options who would consider stepping forward, and there was certainly no harm in extending his twin an invitation to the Alchemy Commission near a time when the General himself would be there.
His day had begun handling the treatment of some Cloud Knights that had been wounded on a patrol of one of the less secured delves.. and he was rather thankful to have finished with that work not long before Dan Heng's agreed upon arrival time.
Reading glasses set aside with the end of his treatment notes, he is able to greet his twin... to the ever so common sound of Lady Bailu quite loudly scolding Jing Yuan. Dan Feng had grown quite used to her complaints, his position as the senior healer just beneath the Dragon Lady's own position leaving him in quite the position for her to vent frustrations to him. It likely helped that the General was his responsibility when she was unable to see the man.
His normally cool expression has warmed considerably with his brother's arrival, and by the time they've caught Jing Yuan's attention -- by the time he approaches -- there is a gentle smile tugging at the corners of Dan Feng's lips. Even for someone who'd loosened up enough to offer the General the occasional small smile, the difference is quite pronounced.
Dan Feng doesn't miss the approach, and he's turned luminous eyes toward the General as the man greets him, tip of his tail swishing idly.]
It is good to see you as well, General. [He pauses, one brow raising just a bit.] Especially for a routine visit.
[There is absolutely a faint but specific weight to those words. The times Jing Yuan showed up at the Commission weren't always so simple, and he made it no secret that he was just as willing to scold the man as Lady Bailu was.]
I am as well as ever, [Half true.] and thankful that you've saved me the trouble of tracking you down.
['Trouble' as if it were difficult, considering how busy the man was. But it would likely be easier on all of them to meet somewhere that wasn't stiflingly quiet -- having less undivided attention directed toward them simply felt... better, in many ways.]
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how could he not be? this is potentially the best job he could ever possibly get aboard the luofu, which is quite exciting - he'll have access to an incredible amount of information - yet he would be working directly for the arbiter-general himself. that's quite an intimidating place to be in. jing yuan is known for being an amiable enough fellow, but knowing that and meeting the man are two very different things.
still, dan feng had reassured him that the general was a good man, and easy to get along with. dan heng only hopes that is the case, for he is not particularly good at getting along with anyone, himself. withdrawn and quiet, dan heng has.. well, no friends at all to speak of, outside of his brother. he's a wonderful archivist, yes, but he's not very sociable. he never has been.
but this job isn't about being sociable - he only needs to get along with the general, and the other archivists that would be working beneath him. so together the twins cross the delves to meet with jing yuan at the alchemy commission, his brother's place of work, and as they approach the man himself dan heng feels his stomach tighten with nerves.
oh. oh.. he's handsome.
dan heng has seen the general before, but only ever from a distance - now he's close enough to catch jing yuan's smile, and follow the well-shaped features of his face. no, no, absolutely not, he refuses to entertain such foolish thoughts.. nevermind how popular the general is, how the people whisper of his good looks. dan heng won't be among those lining up to purchase his photograph.
he's not yet addressed, however, so he flicks his gaze down, deferential, his hands folded together in front of him. ]
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But it is a familiar call out. One he pay less and less mind to as the years continue onward. But Dan Feng has caught his attention with the last part and he opens his eyes once more and cants his head to the side curiously. His gaze darts to the other young man for a brief moment before returning to the healer.]
Is that so...? [He hums as he checks the time, scheduling out the rest of his day and seeing where he can place said conversation. It's just then that Lady Bailu shoves the small paper bag of medicine into his stomach, reciting the usual instructions with a very pointed look. She then hands him a card with his next appointment written out as largely as possible. That gets tucked away and will inevitably lost somewhere between now and retiring for the evening.] If it aligns with your time clock let us take lunch and discuss this matter, whatever it may be. I need to take Lady Bailu's prescription with food as per her very strict instructions.
The meal will be my treat. For both of you. [He gestures to Dan Heng as he speaks.] I insist.
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He was rather thankful that in the event where the man needed cloudhymn healing, his treatment was prompt -- especially considering he'd not be allowed to leave following conflict without Dan Feng treating him.
Dan Feng catches Lady Bailu's approach in the moment before he'd have responded, so he simply remains quiet -- simply allows her to take charge of her most difficult patient as he turns his attention to Dan Heng at his side. Even long separated as they'd been, he can still read his bother's nerves as clearly as he ever could... so while the General's attention is momentarily elsewhere, Dan Feng brushes his twin's long hair aside enough to rest his hand at his back, between his shoulder blades.
The gentle warmth that softened his expression when he'd turned his attention to his brother remains when he glances back to Jing Yuan, finally freed from the Dragon Lady's frustrations. He hums quietly, meeting familiar golden eyes with an ease that rather seems to escape many others in the Alchemy Commission.]
As you insist on that, I see no reason to decline. [He pauses briefly, hand still warm against his brother's back.] At the very least, a quieter place to first make proper introductions would serve us well, I believe.
[Truly there was quite a bit of bustle around them, and the curious gazes that he was used to would likely not be helping Dan Heng's nerves in the least. For all he'd love to ease them into the topic of the Seat desperately needing an archivist as soon as possible... speaking where Lady Bailu's gaze wouldn't be staring daggers in their direction could only help matters.]
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but then dan feng's hand brushes back his soft hair, and lays warm between his shoulderblades, and dan heng exhales softly. even now, his brother's presence is always soothing to him, helping him to find his confidence. the seat needs an archivist, and dan heng knows full well that he is capable of fulfilling the role, he only needs to keep believing that. he is meticulous and critical, with a sharp mind and a memory like a steel trap. there may be other hopefuls that are just as good as him, perhaps, but that doesn't mean he should worry about his own ability.
nevermind that people might complain and cry nepotism, should he be the one chosen for the role, but.. that will hardly bother him. let people think what they will think. dan feng is a respected member of the community, if he says that dan heng is capable, then he is capable, and public opinion is irrelevant. ]
Of course, General.
[ he says politely, bowing his head respectfully, though his eyes remain lifted to jing yuan's golden ones. he takes a breath, visibly relaxing beneath dan feng's touch. ]
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Aurum Alley is where he opts to lead taking familiar streets until they reach the heart of it. Bustling food stalls line the streets offering all sorts of wears but the General walks past them to little indoor restaurant which will be out of sight and mostly empty due to most people helping themselves to the stalls. The food offered is lots of fried goods but rather filling and there are a large variety of teas and other Luofu signature drinks.
Jing Yuan continues to lead towards the back. It's not a noisy place but back here means that they do have some privacy from the few people that are here. It only takes a moment for a young woman to come, flushed face at the sight of the three of them, and take down whatever it is they intend to eat.]
Proper introductions first, I believe you said. [Jing Yuan begins, folding his arms over the table and smiles at both young men.] I fear I don't need any introduction but just in case... I am Arbiter General, Jing Yuan. And I am familiar with my on occasion healer, Dan Feng. So that must make you...
[He smiles a bit knowingly, clearly aware of who Dan Heng is for one reason or another. But perhaps it's to be expected from the very long lived Arbiter General. However he has come across this knowledge of the formally estranged twin he says nothing more and allows the young man to introduce himself should he wish to.]
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Eventually seated and having ordered -- Dan Feng ever without much of an appetite, and a very small order of light fare -- he settles comfortably at his twin's side. Perhaps they sit closer to one another than would strictly be necessary, but he isn't interested in paying judgment based on common choice any mind.
Dan Feng does rest his hands both in his lap though, one leg crossed primly over the other as his tail curves around his ankles and easily out of the way. Or at the least out of the way of any others, the tufted end flicking idly in the space between his chair and his brother's. Whether or not proximity was needed, an offer of closeness was simply always there now that they'd reunited and had their time to speak.
... it would of course be easy if he were to be the one to introduce Dan Heng, but with the General having begun the introductions, Dan Feng simply nods when he's addressed. He'd be happy to take over as much of the talking as his brother wished of him.. but for now, he would leave the introduction in his hands. He was primarily here as his twin's support, after all.]
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I am Dan Heng.
[ he dips his head respectfully. ]
It is good to meet you formally, General Jing Yuan. Thank you for considering me for the position.
[ dan heng might be nervous about the idea of accepting it, should jing yuan extend a formal offer, but.. he has to be confident, has to try his best. dan feng has given him this chance, and he cannot sully his brother's good name by misbehaving and not giving this his all. so he sits straight and gives jing yuan his full attention, both hands folded in his lap. ]
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The position as my archivist in the Seat of Divine Foresight? [His gaze lingers on Dan Feng for a lengthy moment, knowing very well that this is his doing. Qingzu stepping down and retiring has left a large hole within his staff. One he had not replaced. For nearly as long as he's been General she's been serving by his side. But a long life Xianzhou citizen will even outlive the lengthy lifespans of the Vidyadhara. Especially these days.] Admittedly... It was not a position I was currently looking to fill at present.
[That has been his consistent answer since Qingzu left and it's an answer that no one likes. The work load without her presence has easily tripled with no one directing the workflow. She certainly did far more than her position asked of her. And replacing her is not necessarily going to make things run as smoothly as before. So he simply hasn't, doing the work himself no matter how long it takes.
If it were anyone but these two he would decline without hesitation. But the situation is interesting enough that he's near tempted to indulge the request. He's aware of these two and has been for some time. The incident that occurred was what finally allowed the Xianzhou to do some serious reforms with the system for orphaned children. When Dan Feng appeared in the Alchemy Commission he had looked into the both of them just a bit. He had always found it curious that the one twin never spoke of the other. And now here they both are. Quite suddenly.
That alone, of course, would not be enough to give someone such a highly coveted position within his office but he is learning towards allowing it if only because if it wasn't for these two many more children would be suffering within the system.]
But I could be convinced. [He brings his drink to his lips, sipping the warm tea he ordered and was brought over as he contemplated.] I must say, Dan Feng... We should play chess at some point. If you're as tactical with that game as you were with this you'll be quite the opponent. It is rare I find my General cornered by two chariots but here we are.
[And people have tried and tried very hard to get this long empty position in his office.
To say nothing of the scene in general which is him taking a break, eating lunch, will be watched until he takes his medicine and now having the open position in his office possibly being filled. Check after check after check, it would seem.]
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Still though when Jing Yuan's gaze lingers on him, Dan Feng gazes back without hesitation. Having known the General for years at this point, he'd long since lost any sense of the awe or intimidation that most seemed to feel in his presence. Perhaps that was simply a side-effect of seeing the Dragon Lady scold the man on many occasions, or being near him on the very same battlefield while tending to wounded Cloud Knights -- even him on rare occasion.
Sitting primly, Dan Feng takes a slow sip of his own tea, appearing completely at ease in the moment -- never mind the way the tufted tip of his tail slowly curls against Dan Heng's in silent comfort and encouragement. For his twin of course, but perhaps grounding himself as well.]
I could certainly be convinced into a game, General. Though it would wholly depend upon any free time we may have in common.
[Free time... something that Jing Yuan rather lacked during normal hours, considering the state of his workload. This wasn't a threat in the least, however... no, by the tone of his voice, Dan Feng is simply being realistic about what they would need in order to facilitate these potential games.
Besides... he'd already made the suggestion that he find a new archivist for the sake of Jing Yuan's health, even well before he'd reunited with his twin.]
Talk of tactics aside, the simple fact is that I've known you long enough to know precisely what the previous archivist handled for the Seat of Divine Foresight. And I'd like to believe you've known me long enough to know that I'm not one to make a recommendation without thought.
[In truth, he'd made many recommendations over the years, and not only to Jing Yuan. There were people who had been suited to very specific jobs, and even if it had been someone he outright disliked... if they were the most suited for a position, he certainly wasn't too blind or stubborn to say so.]
At the very least, there's simply no harm in arranging a meeting to allow you to meet and come to your conclusion one way or another.
[Dan Feng takes another slow sip of his tea, luminous green eyes still never leaving Jing Yuan. He truly had every confidence that Dan Heng could handle the position far better than any who had already tried for the job... and this confidence truly had nothing to do with them being twins. Even only newly reunited, he'd done what he could to keep an eye on his brother all this time... wanted only the best for him, and had been proud of everything he'd accomplished while they'd been apart.]
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when dan feng's tail brushes his own, dan heng responds in kind, the tufted tip of his tail gently laying against dan feng's. ]
General, forgive my forwardness, but being without an Archivist for too long will burden not only you, but the entire Seat of Divine Foresight.
[ a little starstruck though he may be upon meeting the general, dan heng knows that if he wants a real chance at this job he'll need to be assertive and confident. the worst that can happen is that jing yuan will say no, after all, so there's no harm in trying his best. ]
I understand that filling Qingzu's shoes is a task that must seem insurmountable, but I have every confidence that I can manage it without issue.
[ and so he slides open his phone, calling up the hologram file of his resume, which he turns toward jing yuan, to be either looked over now, or saved to his own phone for later. he'll find it incredibly neat and clean down to the last detail, and filled with previous positions and references both, clearly showing his expertise as well as the confidence his past coworkers held in his ability. dan heng might be a cold and distant sort of man, but he's certainly a hard and diligent worker.
setting down his phone, he takes another sip of tea. ]
Perhaps a probationary period would suit us both? Give me two weeks to prove to you that I can lighten your load substantially. If you're not satisfied with my work, you can dismiss me without complaint.
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As he is running the Seat of Divine Foresight by himself, for the most part, there is certainly truth in all that is being said to him on the regular. But still... His gaze falls to the wayside as he contemplates and then drawn to the food that is served before them.
Out of principle he wants to decline. But he is slowing down. Not due to mara but just nearly a thousand years of living is wearing him out. It's why his visits to the doctor are so insisted upon. At this age he shouldn't be pushing himself as hard as he currently is. But better for people to harp on this than trying to get him to retire again. That's not a round of conversations he's particularly keen on repeating once again.
Jing Yuan lifts his gaze to pull Dan Heng's phone closer to him so he can look over the resume. There's a lot of good work here. A fine archivist, to be certain. But one he isn't certain that will fill the current gap in his staff. At present there's no one at all that can...
At the end of the day that's certainly the heart of the matter. Clinging to the past as it slowly slips away. This is not an uncommon habit of his but there are few that would remember that after so long now.]
Two weeks for a trial run. [He slides Dan Heng's phone back over to him after a very lengthy pause of consideration.] I can make no promises of continued employment after that. That position is not something that just anyone can be hired into. But if it doesn't work out I can find you a position elsewhere that suits your skill set.
Is that acceptable?
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[Dan Feng has gotten quite good at appearing unaffected and neutral in his confidence, no matter what matters he may face in a public setting. That wasn't to say that he felt as confident as he appeared, and when Jing Yuan's attention is more on his twin than himself, he allows his eyes to drift closed as he listens.
There's a comfort for him as well in the way Dan Heng's tail lays against his own, but even with that there's a tightness in his chest that he knows isn't about to go away anytime soon. Dan Feng was resilient, but with their past any kind of interpersonal maneuvering or even minor clashes with uncertain outcome did leave him unsettled at best, anxious at worst. That Jing Yuan would never even consider causing harm to either of them, even if there were no eyes on them and nobody would ever know, did a great deal to keep the worst of his anxieties at bay... but that also didn't mean things couldn't be irreparably damaged between them should something go awry.
When it came right down to it, Dan Feng didn't believe he knew the General quite as well as Lady Bailu seemed to, and certainly not as well as his previous archivist had... but that didn't mean that he wasn't just as concerned as the other healers at the Commission. Long lived as Xianzhou natives could be, there were few he could recall who'd lived as long as Jing Yuan had... and none of them had remained even a fraction as sound of body and mind as their General was. The man was good for the Luofu, and the Xianzhou Alliance as a whole, and it had absolutely not escaped Dan Feng the way the foster care system had been completely reformed from the ground up following his and Dan Heng's story being highly publicized.
With all of that in mind, perhaps his concern was related to more than simply his responsibilities as a healer.
... that was certainly nothing he needed to have on his mind, and Dan Feng forces those thoughts to the back of his mind with the rest when he opens his eyes once more. The light normally in his eyes is quite dimmed with thought though as he listens... his food for the moment remaining untouched. This deal between Dan Heng and Jing Yuan was nothing for him to have any further hand in, so he simply maintains his silence as he finishes his tea and sets the cup aside.]
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still, all does not seem to be lost, for in the end.. jing yuan still accepts his deal.
releasing a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding, dan heng straightens his shoulders and nods, his heart still pounding against his ribs. he knows he does good work, knows that he can handle whatever the seat of divine foresight might throw at him, but that doesn't mean that it's easy to take on someone like jing yuan, either, and come out of it not feeling rattled. ]
Yes, that is more than acceptable.
[ he says, a little more softly, his nerves showing through, but he's sure to keep his spine straight, even if his tail tightens around dan feng's beneath the table, in need of the assurance. ]
Thank you, General. You may have your misgivings, but you have my word that you won't be disappointed.
[ he will work hard to make jing yuan's job easier, to support the seat to the best of his ability. ]
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You can start at the beginning of the week. [He lifts a hand to the waitress to meet him at the counter and then offers the twins a faint smile.] I apologize for leaving before we could begin our lunch but these new developments mean I have to go and prepare for a new employee. But as it was my idea to go out to eat you can rest easy in knowing it's already been paid for. Still my treat, as promised.
Think of it as a thank you for Doctor Dan Feng always looking after me. [He pushes his chair in and fruitlessly shakes his bangs out of his eyes.] Please enjoy your meal and I will see both of you sometime soon.
[He won't be hearing otherwise about needing to depart regardless of any possible protests. But he does happen to leave without the small paper bag of medicine given to him by the Dragon Lady. Which was a genuine accident. Truly.]
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Dan Feng's gaze lifts to Jing Yuan as the man stands finally, the look in his eyes certainly calmer than he felt. The arrangement made was a good sign -- one that no others had managed regardless of how many times he'd seen the General ambushed by hopeful archivists -- as was the faint smile. They would simply have to see which way things went in the coming days... and over the two weeks trial period.]
You will indeed, General. You can count on it.
[Between Dan Heng's scheduled work at the beginning of the week, and the inevitability of Jing Yuan needing to stop by the Alchemy Commission... well it really was only a matter of time. For now though, Dan Feng wasn't about to stop the man. The last thing he wanted was to even risk pushing their luck farther than the conversation had.
It isn't until Jing Yuan has left the building entirely that Dan Feng allows himself to breathe a slow sigh, back resting a bit more heavily against his seat. For as little as he tended to relax outside of home, he does allow his tail to ease even more around his twin's, near hand lifting to brush the backs of his fingers against Dan Heng's hand.]
I'm sorry that this felt... more tense than I'd expected it to. But I have every confidence that the General will see just what I do, over those two weeks.
[Dan Feng knew that his twin would be the only one truly qualified for the position... and that this stubborn General of theirs wouldn't be able to refuse in the end.
... refusing his medicine was another matter entirely, but the abandoned paper bag wasn't important right now. It simply meant that Jing Yuan would indeed be seeing him soon.]
Dan Feng + Jing Yuan; Marketplace
Perhaps because of those few times accompanying the Dragon Lady, Dan Feng is fairly certain where he'll find the man considering the hour.. so the time finds him in the market. It wasn't necessarily his own lunch hour yet... but he'd delivered a handful of items to far less stubborn or problematic patients on Lady Bailu's behalf, since he'd become quite good at finding anyone whether or not they'd wanted to be found... and now he had some free time to deliver this... secret delivery, of sorts.
Keen eyes have little difficulty finding the General, and it's with a light swish of the tip of his tufted tail that he simply approaches with a casual stride that draws faint surprise from the gossips at entry tables watching Jing Yuan in some form of awe.]
General, I hope you wouldn't mind a moment of company?
[With a delicate arch of his brow, Dan Feng's head tilts only slightly... as he punctuates his question by setting the previously abandoned medicine bag on the table at Jing Yuan's elbow.]
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His lips curl into a warm smile at the sight of the Vidyadhara and he nods his head in greeting before gesturing to the seat across from him. And only then does he give any attention to the paper bag which he peers into curiously.]
Ahhh... I was wondering where this got to though I lacked the courage to tell the Dragon Lady that I had lost it. [He laughs warmly and pulls out the bottle of medicine inside, diligently taking one of the pills so not to earn any wrath from his doctors.] Thank you for returning it.
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I'd have seen it returned to you sooner, had I not worried it might once more be lost amidst your adjustment to this test period.
[... sure that wasn't the reason, but very few people could catch him in a half-truth... and fewer still who could would bring it up. Dan Feng was quite certain he wasn't nearly as much a mystery to Jing Yuan as he was to even his peers in the Alchemy Commission, but that certainly wasn't about to change the story he told.
After a moment, he allows his expression to soften just a little, head tilting only just -- the scar left behind at his hairline briefly visible as his fringe shifts with the motion.]
... had we truly left you out of sorts enough to forget?
[For all that the quiet words could be barbed from another, there's only a faint hint of concern. No guilt, for he'd no regrets but... well, he wanted to help the man, not make his life or work more difficult.]
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The comment that does follow does make him visually pause. His movement of setting his cup down on the table completely ceases for a full second before he continues.
Ah.]
Would it be so shocking that it was? [He shifts in his chair, making himself more comfortably.] I had thought I had always made it quite clear on my stance of taking a new assistant. I would have appreciated a private conversation before hand but... [He rests his chin on the palm of his hand.] It's not as if I don't understand why you chose the way you did it. I would have dismissed it in a private conversation, I know.
What other recourse was there for you to get your formally estranged twin a job with me?
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... at this point I hope you can forgive me, but I've long lost track of how many times the topic of finding you an assistant has been brought up during consultations with both myself and Lady Bailu. I do remember that you have dismissed each one, however.
[His tail flicks once -- just briefly before he coils it around the legs of his chair deliberately. He does pause briefly enough to thank the attendant politely when she brings his tea... and doesn't speak up again until she's off at another table.]
Years now and I've never recommended another for the position, and I assure you that nepotism played no part in my recommendation of Dan Heng. I trust you know me well enough by now to believe that?
[His gaze shifts to the table between them finally, allowing this small sign of uncertainty to surface.]
... I want the best for him, it is true.. but I want the best for you as well, General, and I believe that he can truly ease the weight over your shoulders.